expresso.wordofmine

2011 preview

2011-12-30T13:51:00.011+08:00

January of the year. the brother's marriage. at Kuantan and Melaka. Alhamdulillah everything went well though we've been busy with the wedding arrangement and mama had to undergo operation for she had met with an accident during along's big day. Not even the whole family but the neighbourhood had traumatized with that incident. mama's story been told in one of the local newspaper 'metro' if i'm not mistaken.

the family for Kuantan's side

February of the year has been wonderful cause the month is the shortest month as compare to others. well, I've been working with Ambank since Dec 2010. busy with training and stuff on Jan, and Feb is when i start doing real job as a personal banker there doing sales. I had an enjoyable moment there with the branch staff of Ayer Keroh. They are very good to me. We have an event during February as our local activities the picture below shows our event for chinese new year.

with Ambank Ayer Keroh branch staff

March of the year. i have love my life,my job and getting prepared for my wedding end of the year. So, been to Johor to met with my bestfriends there and also went for friends wedding reception back in Pontian.

bestfriends: ayu,nazra,me and jiah (from left)

April and May.(since i can't find any picture for April. hehe. so i just combine) i notice that it's always about my job. well, this job is kinda fit me but i hate target cause it's hard to achieve.seriously. so, te picture below is the picture of our event for the month doing outside marketing.

with Ambank staffs

June. the month i've been waiting for. We Went to Puket, Thailand. the place is so beautiful. feel like wanna go there again. went there for only 2 days and have to rush back to Malaysia cause of work. there's an important convention for sales people of Ambank. well, it's sort of worth sacrificing for cause the event was held at marriot hotel. If not because of this convention I might not have the chance to stay there. pfttt ;p

Something good also happens to me during this month. israq mikraj, 29th June I have accomplished my past 4 years resolution. You all can see my new image that I'm comfortable with right now.

my best cousin got engaged during this month in batu pahat johor.

at Phuket with them

I, Ambank staff at marriot hotel

cousin's e-day at bp

July and August. Ramadhan for muslims. had went for several free break fasting from customer and clerical staff of Ayer Keroh branch had their bonus and treat us this lovely iftar. well, when officer got their bonus we also went for makan-makan again for iftar.

Eid-ul fitr at enstek sepang and batu pahat johor. this year merdeka day and hari raya fall on the same day. unfortunately i got no leave. haha. well, i had enjoy working there during raya. nevermind.

iftar with Ayer Keroh staff

with younger sister and the cousins

September also one of the month that i've been waiting for cause i had to travel to Bandung Indonesia and i have to admit that i had already fall in love deeply with this place untill to the extend as soon as i got back to Malaysia i booked another ticket to Bandung for my honeymoon with the husband. though the plan been screwed since the husband didn't notice that the passport will expired less than another 6 months. i can't tell how frustrated i am but that is past. we're going there again this New Year 2012. he made it up at least.

at bandung with them Ambank Ayer Keroh and Semenyih staff

October had been hectic for me. every of my weekend had been filled with so many activities especially for preparation of the wedding. the very bff had organized a surprise bridal shower for specially for me. i feel so blessed. thanks a lot to them. one of the surprised given by my ex bestfriend since i think she's no more my bestie la during this month it was a news of her getting married the next day of my wedding day. she already promised to be the bridesmaid gile gelabah nak jadi sangat pengapit pastu ntah apa-apa last minute baru bagitahu. well go to hell with that. Important is at least i know who stood by me during my big day. thank you family and friends.

my best cousin got married on 9-10-11 at batu pahat johor.

bridal shower

ella's reception at bp

November was my big day. 19-11-11 was when i got married to the love of my life and that was when I entered to a new phase in my life. very big beginning throughout my entire life. though obstacles are so much had comes along the way i am proud to say that we had stayed strong together. thanks to family and friends for all the big help and for those who love to condemn and spread so many bad influence about this relationship and marriage, thanks cause you are just making me realize how i have to stay strong and not to fall of your so called judgement. i give a damn but to take it as a chance for me to prove that you're all wrong.

the bridegroom

December is my month. I always fall in love with december. during this month i'm already in Labuan missing the family that i leave back in Melaka. The picture below was taken at KK when i attended the interview with Bank Muamalat. still a job seeker right now i haven't found the job yet.

the cake was for my birthday. husband bought it for me. brownies chocolate, always my favorite.

mcD

the cake

so this pretty sum up everything. the year of 2011 will ends and i will not be around and will only be back next year. we will be going to Bandung, Indonesia on 31st we suppose to arrive 11:59 at bandung but air asia spoilt it they reschedule our flight to 7:30pm and will arrive approximately 9pm there. well, actually who cares? at least i got to go bandung again. i don't think i have any resolution for 2012 except for having a job that i could fall for. amin. that is not a prayers that i pray only during new year, it was my prayers every other day.

Above all, i have already satisfied with all that i have. Alhamdulillah. most of my dream had come true only some of it are waiting for me to achieve. I am only human for i have flaws and so much weakness. I hope things will be better as soon as possible sometimes i wish i was a superhero so i could safe my family from any trouble.

let bygones be bygones.

December, here it comes again!

2011-12-19T15:52:00.007+08:00

suddenly felt like singging Natalie Imbruglia 'Beauty on the fire'....

I admit I was late. The wishlist should have been posted earlier this month. well, can't realy explain how busy i am which, aku pun tak pasti apa lah sangat yang busynya until i almost actually forgot to do my wishlish. this is like a MUST for me. it's like tiap tahun punya event yang wajib. haha. (kalau bab ni kau pandai la wajib, cuba bab agama yang wajib-wajib sikit disuruh buat?)

well, I might say that I am satisfied with what i had for my wedding. thanks friends for the gifts. Insyallah, tuhan sahaja yang dapat membalas jasamu. (in case kalau aku terlupa bagi time kau kawen or in case aku tak sempat nak bagi time kau kawen nanti ye?)

However, that wasn't the same right? am I darings?

My first wishlish has been given in advance to me actually. It was a honeymoon trip. guess what (bukan aku nak takbur ke riak tapi aku nak share juga tak kira).

the lovely husband grant me with this wonderful surprise, it was perhaps for our wedding gift but i might as well consider it for the birthday as well. tapi sayang nak lagi hadiah lain. hahaha. dera dia. he gave me ticket to a place where i really wanna be since sekolah rendah. my city of love for what i would call it. Alhamdulillah. Ok and we already ate my birthday cake in advance since we have kept it for 2 days and i can't resist to eat it with him and his adik. at least, ada la orang lain except for only both of us je.

my very best mate back in mmu. syafiq, subba and zetty gave me a wonderful gift as well for the wedding and my birthday and it was a hotel for the 2 ofus to stay somewhere in Thailand for 3d2n. thank you so much for the gift. i love you even more. (bukan nak tiru julie ok. i ikhlas 100 percent).

All right. that's for the advance gift that i received. what about the gift during the birthday. hmmm... let me see what should i list them?

winter coat

pleasure by estee lauder (with free lotion like this kalau boleh ;p )

tapi yang sebenar-benarnya tak ada di antara wishlist aku buat ni yang betul-betul aku nak pun sebenarnya. ini antara apa yang terlintas buat masa sekarang. i am grateful for what i have now. Alhamdulillah.i have my self, friends and family. but.... most of all now i already have the most awesome-est, wonderful-est, excellent-est,handsome-est, cool-est, greatest etc etc (this would not enough to show how best-EST you are dear) husband in the whole world. i am certainly done with that. i love him from the bottom of my heart. tak payah nak kembang sangat eh abang? i miss you so much. (i'm missing you so much... don't know how i survive, a day without you is like a year without rain - selena gomez punya lagu la pulak)

p/s: off to pick up the perasan-est husband from work now and teman him futsal haiyarghhhh! (itu pun nak update ke? mesti lah! blog aku, biarlah jeles?) ;)

a surprise bridal shower

2011-11-02T00:05:00.008+08:00

before

after

i've been rarely update my personal blog since I have been busy with things.

So, all the weekends and public holiday for the past 2 months had been very hectic i must say. the best part is when last weekend was supposed to be the week for me and GDO to spend time together. it was at first i thought would be just like a normal 'hang-out' session with stories, watching movie, taking pictures and food.

i never really thought that it could turn out to be a real like so real bridal shower for me. haaha. thanks to all of them. they've got me. the day went as usual as it seems, got up at 7 am then getting ready to meet syafiq and subba and then heading to ampang park station to pick up zetty.

zetty got into wrong train so me and julie couldn't help ourself from having our Mcd breakfast and then met syafiq subba and zetty at old town coffee.

as arrived at putrajaya, they suddenly open up the boot of julie's car and i found myself smiling and laughing don't really know actually how to react when i see the balloon and stuffs ready for the photoshoot. haha. it was so nice and i am touched.

then after the photoshoot session, we went to Chillis KLCC for lunch. that was my first time there and the dishes was delicious. we then went to Pavi to watch movie afterwards and at the mean time of waiting for the movie we get ourself a dessert at the chocolate lounge. it was superb! i enjoy the fruits dip with chocolate.

thank you so much to Subba, Syafiq, Julie and Zetty. it was indeed the best experience and the best moment with you guys. I'm sure that I will definitely miss each one of you for every moment spend with you guys. Tears and joys. love.

it's now time for me to move forward. no turning back, i am going to enter a new phase in life. be it good or bad it is all price that one should pay. Tawakal kepada Allah. Insyallah semuanya bakal dipermudahkan. Experience is the best teacher, one will never know how pain should feel until he really felt it himself.

p/s: it's another 17 days left. pray that everything will work well and that Me and him live happily ever after. amin ya rabbal alamin.

Merdeka Raya 2011

2011-08-31T17:32:00.004+08:00

kuih suji diamond.

chocolate cookies

this year, we celebrates the very first raya with our newbie. kak shida, my sister in law.next year pula akan ada lg newbie sb kak shidah is now expecting. excited!

so, this year is a very special raya to us. celebrate raya at enstek sepang with our beloved nyayi. not as she used to be, she's not in a very good condition after she been attack with stroke. all of us pray that nyayi will be just fine soon. amin.

and and... this is the first raya that i have to give out the green packet and not collecting it anymore.sigh~ how nice if i could just give the empty packet and not the content. haha. eish eish. tak baik. ikhlas ikhlas.

p/s: tak cuti raya. tak sempat nak buat kuih raya pun.

WPTB Project 4 (the reception - Melaka

2011-08-31T13:22:00.003+08:00

WPTB Project 3 (the wedding-kuantan)

2011-08-31T11:12:00.004+08:00

it's been awhile since i update this blog. i left the story hanging for too long already. the sis in law that once is 'future' has now become the real sis in law and already expecting. well, here's some of the photos during the event.

weekender at johore

2011-02-20T19:28:00.004+08:00

i was born inside this house. disambut oleh yok long (moyang) aku

with makusu dan makuda at ns lemak senibung

air kelapa bertuah ni

di rumah maklong

dengan kak yanti. bakal pengantin may nanti

wanna watch break up!!!!!!

i went to johore this weekend. great journey i must say. would definitely bring along the boyfie since he never been there. can't wait. as arrived at batu pahat, the uncle offers us to watch 'hantu kak limah balik rumah'. lawak tak hingat. thumbs up! then tengok ngangkung. pun lawak juga.

the next morning, we depart from bp to jb for the engagement ceremony at maklong's house in jln nong chik. it was ages since i went jb. like totally different feelings meresap di kalbu gitu as we went through all the way that we used to pass through previously. tempat kelahiran. then, petang pergi minum abc n makan mee rebus. malam tu terus tido rumah makusu.

we went to senibung for nasi lemak. unfortunately, i got a gastrix. such a sux night. it spoiled the day. we skip downtown just because i can't stop vomitted all the nasi lemak that i ate. gile tak best. it all happen hanya kerana sebiji buah kelapa yang aku sedut time perut kosong. sepatutnya minum air panas lain. silap besar! i hate my gastrix. nasib baik boleh ok, tak perlu nak gi klinik. terpaksa tidur menyarap malam tu.

the next day, kitaorang akan singgah ke bp untuk drop makuda kat bp. jadi singgah la pontian on the way back tu. ingat nak lalu lalu je. tapi habis satu pontian kitaorang pusing. parit semerah, seaside, bando, tambak tengok orang mancing kat pertandingan mancing, masuk taman damai tempat aku membesar, lalu kampung dalam tempat aku dilahirkan dll. seronok. rasa macam balik rumah. rumah yang betul betul rumah. rindu gila. tapi dapat rasa macam dapat lepaskan rindu yang sekian lama.

lepas pontian, kitaorang terus bertolak balik bp. sempat makan goreng pisang rojak n mee goreng bodoh. terbaik! then ingat nak drop by makuda saja, rupanya sempat tido lagi kitaorang. rehat secukupnya sebelum nak drive balik, balik melaka. sedihnya.

pete yorn - search your heart

2011-02-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

1,2,2
and you search your heart x4
I just wanna tell you
I don't know why
If you find the answer
I'll be inside
arranging time
You won't find another dummy who wait for you
So I hate the one who lives for you

Don't blame me for your trouble

and you search your heart x2

I don't need an answer
I just don't know
If you find it one day
I know that you're strenght is gone
and you are shattered

Don't hate me for I live for you
Don't make me do things you won't do

Don't blame me for your trouble

Cos' you know once you're over the top of the hill
You're life ain't no supermarket store
And you know this
And it shows x2

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So I blame the boy who's there for you
Don't make him do things you won't do

Don't blame me for your trouble
Don't hate me for your trouble
Don't blame me for your, oh oh oh

And you search your heart x2
And you search your

outting of GDO and Duckie

2011-01-15T12:50:00.005+08:00

we finally happen to have the opportunity to hang out together again after so long. i just love it.

i was in KL for training on 5th till 12th. we went for a movie at pavi and have a great see sight around bukit bintang.

i tried several new dishes there in KL and i must say that i'm enjoying every moment of it. thanks to all.

we'll meet again next time.

around the corner

2010-12-15T11:07:00.021+08:00

let's review my wishlist. excited! how nice if we could always get what we wish to have in just one click. but life's just the way it is. so, below is the list for the birthday this year that i ought to have. (the list is according to the most priority to the least priority ;p )

1. great skin home and away set promotion by Clinique. syiokkk 700% if i could have this, merry clinique! great gifts, great values.

the set separately if i didn't get the chance to have the Christmas set (above picture).

2. Mahathir Mohamad biography. another must-have list for the birthday.

3. Calendar alarm. table clock that have the date. kalau tak dapat jam tangan asalkan ada jam ni pun jadi lah.

please let me have all that i've listed.

p/s: most of all, I thank Allah for this year birthday is a blast to me since i've been given the best present of all. Alhamdulillah.

a celebration

2010-12-07T02:04:00.004+08:00

with the cousin ; me, miss ell, e'ein

all time favorite; nasi buhari by pakuda

the cake for birthday boy

first of all, happy new year to all muslims around the world. awal muharam of 1432 hijrah is today as we hear of maghrib azan. Alhamdulillah, God had given us life to stood here still and witness His beautiful creature across the nation.

I'm back to hometown, Johore to celebrate my cousin's son birthday and aqiqah. the son is turning 1 on 7th December which is equal to awal muharam 1432 this year. Life had been upside down for me this few days but I believe that everything happens for reason and that's what makes me stronger and always try my best to look into brighter sight.

i'd like to share some pictures taken during those days spent with my family.

the gift

2010-12-04T14:48:00.003+08:00

the gift by Cecilia Ahern

Bought this yesterday. i finally made my dream came true by having the book of P.S. I love you. It's like i have had the complete set for P.S. I love you since i've already watch the movie and already had the book. haha. entah apa-apa.

the picture above is one of the promotion package for Cecilia Ahern book. must get! it has a very competitive price for three books is inside that lovely box. I'm glad that i finally have it. :) i can't actually recall what was the books inside but i'm sure they have P.S. I love you (of course. that was why i bought it), the gifts and where do rainbow end (i'm not so sure the exact title and i'm too lazy to check. haha)

ok that's for now.

p/s: at batu pahat. for akikah of my cousin's son. makan. makan. makan.

WPTB Project 2 (gifts)

2010-12-04T14:23:00.004+08:00

antara door gift for the reception

jom cerite lagi pasal upcoming wedding on january 30th. As mentioned, I've been busy for the reception. i'd like to share some part of me doing the decoration for the door gifts. above is some of the photos. join the wedding and you'll know. excited! berterabur kan? biasalah rumah kalau dah nak buat kerja kawin ni.

most of the items used here been bought from PISB since we're a member of the store. :) siap dapat discount lagi. will update soon for other stuff.

December's here again!

2010-12-01T11:27:00.002+08:00

it's December again. I love the month since it'll be my birthday and there's also YES held in Malaysia now so i could have like so much of present since it's YES. haha. perasan. I don't expect the present from people. I'm glad with what i have now. Alhamdulillah. besides, I rarely give presents to others i must say but i did the effort to wish them happy birthday. i have the intention to bought them but apparently i have no money. haha. so, what you give, you'll definitely get back lah. i'm fine with it. i son't mind bout the present as long as i'm alive and that God give me prosperous and healthy life, that'll be great to me; a great present that i could have from God so as long as i live that i could take care for the parents. that's all.

p/s: enjoy the month azwin! it's all yours. :) contended

WPTB Project

2010-12-01T00:39:00.005+08:00

Been busy lately with things for the brother's big day (yes. again and again) my mind can't stop thinking bout it. actually me and the mother been struggling for this big day. he's the first child. apparently, his wedding reception would be our first time experience dealing with the event. how excited. we're quite terrify i must say. there's always hurdle here and there for this is our first time doing this perhaps we're still lack and therefore we try to consult and ask others who have experience. luckily mama have lots of friends that could help us through it all. alhamdulillah. praised to God for giving us strength and not giving up so easily. i believe that we'll manage it through. insyallah. i just hope that everything will work well for his big day. I know when the time comes me and mama would be the one who'll feel satisfied the most as compare to others. haha. (boleh pula aku cakap macam ni). really, we've been through all. i pray a lot to God to let the event go on smoothly. amin.

walaupun dengan pelbagai dugaan dan cabaran nampak gaya kitaorang berjaya gak siapkan beberapa perkara penting sebab tukang masak (import dari batu pahat johor), kad jemputan, buffet set, pelamin+mak andam+baju bersanding dan main table dah di book. barang untuk hantaran pun dah tersedia tinggal nak decorate je. excited lagi sekali. then, souvenir nak bagi orang pun dah sedia tinggal nak letak ribbon left with VIP's souvenir je ni. luckily the event is only for about 500 people sebab mama plan to just buat kenduri lagipun ni majlis anak lelaki (bertandang).

the best part is, i can't wait for the cousins to arrived and 'rewang' at my house. it'd be so much fun i'm sure bout that. and i have some sort of plan to sneak out one night and bring them to karoke. it'd be super-extremely fun doing so. haha. well, since i'm the respected person and the 'orang kanan' for mama i can't simply-simply made silly mistake. i have to ensure everything like so many things in order before i wanted to take the cousins out all right. i have to be clear that the day will be superb for the bridegrooms and that'll make me and mama and abah double happy. :)

mudah-mudahan tuhan permudahkan majlis kami yang mulia ni. doakan lah bersama untuk kedua bakal mempelai ini ye? terima kasih.

example of the wedding card. sort of

the hantaran. (excited!)

p/s: serabut. macam-macam berlaku sampai urusan aku sendiri pun jadi kucar-kacir. tapi aku ikhlas nak buat semua ni. aku tahu tuhan menduga. setiap masalah ade penyelesaiannya dan aku bersyukur setiap kali bila di timpa musibah tuhan pasti akan tunjukkan jalan keluarnya.

weekender at Pulau besar

2010-11-11T11:31:00.004+08:00

last few weekend, (31 oct) me and the parents went to Pulau Besar Melaka. the ticket price for the ferry is MYR 14. we depart from Anjung Batu, Umbai jetty around 12.30 p.m. I didn't have any idea what the place looks like. i know it's an island but don't have a clue that some people went there for prayers. luckily at the jetty, we get to know this one uncle. dia tokeh kedai mamak dekat Klebang. dia beritahu yang orang datang situ biasanya ada bawak niat. and i was like shocked. alamak no wonder most of people yang ada situ bertudung.

nasib baik bawak cap, dapat gak tutup kepala time nak masuk makam tu sebab tak boleh tak tutup kepala. then, i bought this one shawl there. after zohor, kita semua pergi makan nasi beryani. menurut uncle tu kat situ hari-hari tempat tu sedekah nasi beryani. hari kitaorang pergi tu dia masak lauk kambing. alhamdulillah murah rezeki orang yang bersedekah tu. then, there i met with this one family lagi. punya keciknya dunia rupanya orang tu satu kampung kat penang dengan uncle yang jadi so-called tourist guide kitaorang tu. the other family tu dari nilai and i got new friend their daughter is only 7 years old tapi dapat la aku kawan time kat pulau besar tu.

dan kitaorang balik dengan boat/ ferry pada jam 3.30 ptg. sempat juga bukak kedai untuk meniaga.

mama

abah

@ the jetty

new friend; nabila adriana

gambar lama (continuous from previous entry)

2010-10-21T03:05:00.008+08:00

as i search through all my pictures, i came to see all of this picture of mine taken around 2004 to 2005. before entering mmu if i'm not mistaken. maksudnya gambar-gambar yang korang bakal lihat ni di sekitar lebih dari 5 tahun lepas. ok?

with ayu. my bestfriend back in johor. i took this picture before moving to melaka for good. in 2004 before march. in this picture, we're at library pontian johore. the quality of the photo is a bit bad because i never scan the picture, i took it by phone and upload it. haha.

my bestfriend when i went to national service at asahan, jasin. she's nazirah from muar. this picture was taken around 2005. ye la, NS kan lepas abis exam SPM.

this picture was taken also around 2005 after NS. i st

ill look a bit chubby in this photo.

and now, let's look at this picture of mine. (sebenarnya ni sambungan untuk entry yang sebelum ini.) ada tengok kan gambar ni? pernah tengok kan? compare it. i look younger. like seriously younger than i can imagine. no wonder people think i'm just entering secondary school. betul lah! kalau tak percaya... percaya lah. hehehe

azwincantik

p/s: jangan lah jealous. at least, ada la sikit kelebihan aku. asik korang je ada kelebihan kan? alhamdulillah. ni pinjaman tuhan ni. aku sedar bila-bila dia boleh amik.

hendak lagi

2010-10-20T17:30:00.004+08:00

tolong lah. tolong lah. nak sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat.

1. nak pergi BANDUNG. tolong. sampai masuk dalam mimpi time demam. kenapa aku jadi macam orang gila entah sehari ni. harap-harap esok aku jadi normal. (betul pun. bila da masuk tengah malam baru aku boleh pikir rasional sikit)

2. iPhone. white color please. style habis seyh. serious sesuai sangat untuk aku. tak kesah la kalau 4g terlalu over budget aku, 3gs pun okay apa. (bila masa aku ada budget lagi lepas dah berenti keje ni? berangan betul)

3. wedges vincci. dari raya kempunan nak beli cuma rasa tu not necessarily kena beli so aku abaikan perasaan aku tu dan beli benda lain yang keperluan. 'wants' comes after 'needs'.

ini je setakat ini. whatever it may takes, i have to and really need to get a job first. before thinking of to have all those list. tak de la banyak sangat pun sebab rasanya aku dah ada semua. ini antara perkara yang asik berlegar-legar kat kepala otak.

first thing first. so, the first things that i wanted to have right now, so badly, so hardly, really really and bla bla bla is

a JOB please. please. please.

kalau tak. tak payah berangan nak yang berderet kat atas tu ye cik azwin.

guess i'm just too tired of waiting the good sign but i'm never gonna give it up cause i believe miracle always happen. i pray for the best. i know that all of this effort that i've given might pay me somehow. i know God have his own plan for me dan aku redha pada setiap apa yang bakal menimpa. aku sedar aku cuma hambanya. aku perlu jadi lebih taat. aku bersabar dan bersabar. setiap yang berlaku kan ada hikmah. sebagai orang islam aku kena yakin dan percaya pada qadaq dan qadar. rezeki semua datang dari tuhan. semua yang aku ada sementara. dia boleh amik bila-bila sama macam kerja lama aku. tapi aku tak menyesal. aku tau ada hikmahnya setiap yang berlaku tu. tuhan selalu beri dugaan. aku kena lah kuat tangani semua ini. kuat azwin! kuatkan semangat.

p/s: kenapa masalah blog aku dah tak boleh ada color-color dekat font dia ni? pelik betul. rasa nak marah je ni.

fun time

2010-10-18T22:38:00.007+08:00

i manage to edit my picture. it was taken this year but i definitely look like 10 years back. really~

haa perasannya. hehehe.

it's just in a sudden i'd been thinking to edit the picture. teringat masa jadi student dulu, selalu juga edit dekat www.picnik.com. recommended by THC by Azra.

i just feel like editing picture. so here's the result.

a farewell

2010-10-17T15:46:00.006+08:00

it's been awhile since i kept this story. cause it's some kinda personal and sensitive to me. well, i never really mentioned that i am not earning my monthly pays anymore all right. for this is about 4 months now. i'd like to share some photos during my so called performance with bella during the farewell dinner at Renaissance Hotel Melaka back on june this year.

the best thing is, i feel so appreciated when you know that someone is celebrating you. i mean, the farewell party was for me and the other staff my bestfriend kak farah. at least aku boleh tumpang sekaki juga kan? if not, i don't think they'll ever do that to me. hehe. who knows kan? i just work there for about half year and kak farah had been there for almost 3 years. mesti lah kena buat yang terbaik untuk pekerja macam dia kan? well as for me, all of it is more than enough to me. thank you so much. aku bangga betul dapat turut serta. bersyukur sangat. i never think that some of them even like me. well, enough said. time to cut all the craps.

i got precious gift from the department. ya, both of us get it. me and kak farah. i feel so glad. again, appreciated. like totally. 100%.

here's some photos. miss them!

my darlings. PPG!

with the HOD, kak aien. that's the present. i love the gift so much. thanks commercial department

(this picture is too small pula) with commercial department

me covering bubbly by colbie

love this shot. (don't know why)

p/s: the love of my life is preciouscabella. i always fall for her. always. when everyone else are with their own, bella will always there whenever i need her. never disappointed me. never. love bella

shortly

2010-10-16T19:29:00.002+08:00

i have like only about 10minutes to update this and still i want to update. i have something to do afterwards. mama's friend is sending her son to my house. he'll be seating for SPM and i have to teach him math or any other subjects that he'd like to learnt. SPM is around the corner so guess i just taught him the most i could do at this time.

cuma nak amik mood sekarang ni dengan dengar lagu-lagu comel banyak-banyak kali sambil geleng-geleng kepala ikut rentak. bestnya rasa kalau tekak dah baik. sakit betul. update blog nak cakap benda ni je? haha. lawak betul minah sorang ni. macam nak kena turun je ni. be right back. maybe after midnight je nanti sebab sampai sekarang pun aku still tak berpuas hati dengan entry yang tangkap muat aku ni. cincai boncai je.

ok la. tata.

p/s: i am my own inspiration and that's why i always fail miserably. sigh~ macam kena tukar la cari inspiration lain pulak la!

take care

2010-10-16T15:02:00.003+08:00

with nothing in mind i try to put something interesting here and with a sigh~ i know i would find none to put something fancy. sigh~ again. i knew i wanted to write something but my head just can't figure out what to be said.

ok. jom cerite pasal sakit dan penjagaan diri.

manusia ni jadi makin malas ke apa sebenarnya? ke sebab aku demam seminggu aku yang semakin malas? tak paham. nak selitkan nasihat sikit. jaga la diri time-time ni musim demam kot. orang asik sakit je. penyakit pelik-pelik pulak tu sekarang ni ada. risau betul aku. nak-nak untuk orang macam aku yang banyak sangat pantang larang dalam pemakanan. itu tak nak ini tak nak. time sakit baru aku nak pantang. dah berapa kali aku dapat warning ni tak boleh makan cili padi. bukan aku degil, the problem is it's just hard to resists. siang malam pagi petang cili padi. bak kata mama 'masak megie letak cili padi, telur dadar letak cili padi, nak makan sayur kacang pun nak cili padi, nasi goreng kampung ko tu dah la sebakul cili padi. pedas gila. time sakit baru nak pantang, tak sakit buat lagi.'

kesiannya aku kena kurangkan makan cili padi. susah la macam ni. hilang selera makan nanti. macam mana nak buat eh? pening juga kepala pikirkan. tapi aku pun sayang kesihatan aku ni. nampak gaya kena ada projek terbaru la lepas ni 'ops! kurangkan makan cili padi'. haha. sukati je. hopefully i manage to get through. last time nak kurangkan minum air gas dah berjaya dah. cili padi ni memang susah sikit la.

selamat menjaga diri dan hiasi peribadi. jom dgr ok! by t2. sedapnyeeee

ketakutan menjelma

2010-10-14T19:18:00.002+08:00

takut tak? tinggal 15hari. seram sejuk seyh. doa yang terbaik je. amin amin

commanwealth pun dah last day dah ni. dan hari yang aku tunggu pun bakal kunjung tiba. seriau ni. kalah segala perasaan lain yang tengah nak kacau daun. siap demam 3 hari tak boleh bangun tu. mau tak gila. nak buat apa pun tak boleh sebab tak larat. tapi gi doctor, doctor kata demam sikit je. sakit tekak sikit je. tapi kenapa kepala aku ni bagai nak pecah. angkat sikit pun tak leh. nak meleret je. doctor ni pun biar betul. nasib da ok sikit sebab aku rajin makan ubat. ni pun berat dah turun 3 kilo apa cerite ni? fenin fenin.

It's sunday

2010-10-10T17:04:00.000+08:00

Sunday means everything to me.my favorite day.but nowadays sunday doesn't mean much to me.i'm unemployed so perhaps i didn't wish for sunday to comes on weekdays.last time when i used to have work,i always wish that saturday and sunday would come soon.now,everything changed.things, they'll always change.so as my life.life change whether for good or bad.it change.i used to hate the chage but now just like i mention earlier,i have to accept changes cause it always occur in life.for once,i felt im changing even if i hate changes so much.and everyone surrounds me is changing.people who used to be with me changes every path along the journey.fortunately,mama and abah never leave me.they're always beside me.i don't know how i'm gonna make it without them.as for now they never dissapoint me.not like the others.they always make promises and fail to fulfill it.it's not like i desperately wanted them to be with me so much but.ahh..the hell?i think to much maybe.let's just enjoy tje change that we've made.

conflict vs confused

2010-10-06T03:05:00.002+08:00

kalau aku nak habiskan baca buku aku mesti tak boleh kot. may i? hmm.. while i'm doing nothing, why not right? i wanted to but i'm the type of if i've liked the book/story i would try to finish it asap. the problem is, i might end up to ignore to prioritize which is which. everything will turn upside downs. alah... susahnya.

p/s: dengar lah lagu superstar ost cerite juno. sedap tau. rugi tak dengar.

Bug off!

2010-09-30T04:03:00.002+08:00

Firstly i must say i write this for my own satisfaction if not, i won't be able to get to bed. Oh, how i hate it. I hate this attitude of mine. I must do this.

Well, the entry goes like this. I wanted to tell you that even if i eat lots and still not getting any bigger or even if i wanted to eat my heart out that so not your bloody problem alright. none of anyone business. I have like this eating disorder or what so ever it is, that's my own self problem k. I mean, please.. I'm sick and tired of this. Telling the same answer to every different person. Come on. Wish i had a machine or robot to help me out here. Why does people bother? Even me myself don't bother much. Even if i do so, it's my body. I'm trying to be grateful for what God have given me here. Don't they understand it? No matter how i avoid this i know you just can't stop questioning this. I don't mean to stop you. Let them be it, and let me be me. So, if ever you guys see me showing face you'll know what that supposed to mean. I hate it when i'm starving. I don't like to control my lust of eating. I'm just doing what i love to do. Feels like punching someone's face right now.

al-kisah PTD (interview PTD)

2010-09-19T01:31:00.007+08:00

venue: Equatorial Hotel Aras 2, Bandar Hilir, Melaka.

time: 08:00 a.m.

date: 03/09/2010 (Friday)

hari yang paling aku takuti, paling aku nanti, dan paling paling paling. ini antara penentuan kisah aku dengan PTD. kalau satu kantoi nampak gayanya kena lah aku patah balik semua step from zero. from aku register spa online.

TIDAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tak dapat aku bayangkan. kalau dah sampai tahap interview aku screwed up. perasaan ni memang pelbagai. bagai nak runtuh jantung aku kalau pikir aku kantoi salah satu peringkat nak ke arah PTD ni. ke arah mencapai matlamat aku. untuk berbakti kepada negara dan bangsa. cewah.

masa nak tengok result lulus ke tak PAC aritu. kalah perasaan takut nak tengok result final sem final year iaitu penentuan samada kita dapat grad atau tak. serius woo. mamandangkan cek result utk university aku dulu online and cek spa result ni pun secara online beb. nasib internet tak de la slow mana. berderau darah. aku gan mama tengok sama-sama result tu. tunggu penuh sabar depan laptop tunggu de loading lepas aku key in ic no aku.

LULUS.... terpapar kat screen. menjerit dua beranak. gila. sakit peha aku kena pukul dek kerana happy sangat. tak sangka la tu konon aku lulus.

tak tahu la macam mana berdebarnya hati aku nanti bila nak cek result utk interview yang bakal keluar awal november nanti. tapi yang penting, aku percaya kalau dah rezeki nak dapat jadi ptd tu dapat juga. kalau tak, means macam mana aku struggle pun kalau da tak derezekinya tak de la.

ok balik pada cerite interview. soalannya depends daripada jawapan yang korang jawap untuk

setiap soalan-soalan yang di ajukan watu tu.

contoh mase aku di interview, soalannya berbunyi begini (antara yang aku boleh ingat) :

1. bagitahu quality yang ada pada awak. in other words 'promote yourself'

- depends. nak jawap in english atau campur with malay. tapi aku time ni jawap rojak jek.

2. apa itu ptd. yang awak paham.

- ada 8 teras bidang in ptd. memorise it. senang sikit untuk kite tambah jawapan kita. kalau tak blank memang habis la.

3. dalam 8 bidang tu mana yang awak minat?

- ini pun depends. tapi aku pilih pembangunan sosial.

4. dalam pembangunan sosial ada banyak cabang. ada penerangan, pengangkutan, dll. awak minat nak masuk mana? (lebih kurang macam ni la soalannya tapi interviewer ni cakap lebih proper la. setiap soalan yang bakal diajukan berbeza dengan orang lain contoh kalau korang pilih bidang teras yang lain, soalan seterusnya mungkin lain la)

- aku pilih penerangan.

ok. ini antara soalan yang lebih kurang berkaitan la. yang lain-lain tu semua dah masuk soalan tersendiri. terpulang pada soalan dan jawapan yang di beri oleh kedua pihak. kita nak masuk bidang ni kena la tahu sikit sebanyak pasal ptd. aku pun bukan terer cuma kat sini saja nak share pengalaman. aku pun belum tentu lagi dapat ke tak. keputusan keluar nov 1st. doakan ye?

after about an hour in the interview room, we finally come to an end. macam tak sangka hari yang aku takutkan tu bakal berakhir saat tu. sebelum aku melangkah keluar pintu sempat interviewer tu pesan 'semoga berjaya berkorban untuk negara'.

tak paham dengan maksud dr khalid tu (interviewer). tapi aku sempat berterima kasih. aku dah cuba buat yang terbaik selebihnya serah kat tuhan. aku yang selama ni susah nak datang awal untuk interview, boleh pulak datang awal 40 minit pada hari tu. 7.20 a.m. dah sampai. dapat la jadi orang pertama masuk interview tu. ada 8 orang kesemua yang sama hari interview gan aku masa ni.

macam banyak gila benda nak cerite pasal ptd ni. tak habis-habis rasanya. aku ada uploaad sekali gambar pakaian yang aku pakai time interview aritu. base on my research ramai orang suruh pakai blazer, kalau perempuan jangan pakai seluar and so on and so forth. there's no harm pun nak ikut. so, aku wat keputusan untuk ikut je advice dari semua. yang mana elok kita turutkan, yang tak elok, kita jadikan tauladan la.

i believe this pretty sum up everything and cover the information needed. aku time nak duduk exam ke, pac ke, interview ke semua cari kat internet and i believe ramai orang pun sibuk nak cari maklumat tentang ptd ni. banyak juga yang kita boleh dapat dari internet. tapi jangan lupa juga baca buku-buku yang disyorkan.

good luck!

-the end-

al-kisah PTD (PAC)

2010-09-05T07:12:00.002+08:00

Dan perjalanan aku selangkah kehadapan untuk PTD bila aku terima surat keramat dari SPA untuk menjalani assessment. dikenali sebagai PAC (PTD Assessment Centre).
(suka surat tu. sebab ada tulis urusan kerajaan. rasa macam orang penting. pastu surat tu kena koyakkan belah tepi dia. best.)

03 July 2010, PAC aku di INTAN Kluang, johor. balik kampung la apa lagi. best. aku tumpang tidur di rumah mak cik aku kat batu pahat. lebih kurang 40 min ke Kluang. awal pagi lagi dah keluar untuk sampai sana sebelum pukul 8 pagi. sebab sesi PAC ni satu hari. aku diberitahu sebelum ni sesi PAC 3 hari. tapi sejak akhir tahun 2009 SPA dah ubah jadikan sehari sahaja. macam biasa. aku mesti lambat. nasib baik sempat.

seingat aku. sampai je kena beratur untuk daftar. ukur berat dan tinggi, amik gambar, dan serahkan dokumen pada urusetia. lepastu masing-masing ada no giliran sendiri. kena tengok dapat group dengan siapa. my lucky no is 135.

masuk kelas pagi tu ada la dalam 20 orang ke belas-belas. camtu la. ada 4 soalan pilih satu untuk group dan untuk individual. individual tu kena present sorang-sorang lah.aku ingat group aku pilih apa. kitaorang pilih pasal isu nak mansuhkan UPSR dan PMR. bincang punya bincang lah. aku jadi tukang salin. dan secara tak langsung, aku yang pegang kertas untuk turn siapa pilih nak elaborate isi yang mana. then bila cukup masa dah kena tunggu turn untuk individual. cuak betul. time tu, tugasan demi tugasan diberi. suruh baca satu artikel ni untuk kita buat rumusan. individual. pegawai tu cakap ada sebab mereka buat macam ni sebab nak tengok boleh tak kami coop dengan kerja yang bertimbun-timbun nanti.

masa present individual pulak aku pilih untuk ulas soalan tentang isu pengangkutan. cakap dalam bahasa baku. jangan tersasul cakap 'ok, kitaorang, dan sebagainya'. diberi pilihan untuk duduk atau berdiri aku pilih berdiri. nasib baik. sebab setelah selesai pegawai tu cakap kalau duduk jangan silang kaki. aku pasti kalau aku duduk memang aku akan silang kaki punya lah. aku antara orang terakhir yang present individu tu. mereka cakap pegawai tu tak tanya dia cuma angguk dan tengok sahaja. tak sangka pula time aku tu, dia tanya pulak. paling tak boleh lupa pasal point aku. smart tol. aku cakap untuk elakkan kesesakan lalu lintas dan penyelesaian untuk banjir. boleh pula pegawai tu tanya yang mana satu sebab utama smart tol dibina. alamak! i don't expect him to ask. aku pun jawab. 'untuk elak kesesakan lalulintas'. dia tanya balik 'ye ke?' dan aku pun apa lagi kelentong itu ini dan tetap juga dengan jawapan aku. haha. padahal memang aku tak tahu sebenarnya. mungkin aku salah jawap tapi aku tetap dengan pendirian. aku harap aku dapat markah untuk itu. risau juga la.

lepas individu, terus kena present dalam group pula. yang bagusnya kitaorang tak discuss macam mana nak present tu. boleh tak perasaan. terus jadi kekok. masing-masing dah pegang isi masing-masing. kebetulan aku orang yang pertama kena present pembukaan sebab point aku point pertama. ingat lepas aku cakap dah boleh relaks la hehe. tapi sebaliknya yang berlaku.

tiba-tiba aku jadi macam pengerusi majlis mesyuarat la pulak. aku kena persilakan setiap orang pula. tak kesah la intro tu aku buat sendiri lepastu aku kena ulas isi aku, lepastu aku kena cakap 'dan seterusnya', 'isi yang ke dua', 'dan tentang penilaian(salah satu isi kami)'. dah la time tu semua duduk dalam bulatan. lepastu bila nak present aku bangun. tapi yang lain lepas sebut isi mereka, mereka duduk balik. aku dah tak sempat nak cakap dan betulkan. dan seterusnya lepas kawan aku buat ulasan aku juga yang kena tutup sebab dia tak cakap penutup. pelik aku. tak pasal-pasal jadi pengelola. kelakar.

sebelum bersurai untuk sesi pagi ni. sebab tengahari kami akan bertukar group pulak. tak kan sama dengan group pagi ahli-ahlinya. jadi pegawai yang in charge untuk pagi ni pun berikan nasihat dan pandangan. yang paling penting dia tegur pasal penampilan, cara berdiri, cara duduk untuk perempuan jangan silang kaki, dan dia tegur pasal presentation dalam group tu. dia pun confuse untuk beberapa detik pertama. sepatutunya, sorang present dekat board dan yang lain tambah-tambah la. mungkin pada setiap penghabisan point atau bila-bila masa perlu.

selepas diberi rehat makan tengahari, sesi petang pun bermula. untuk sesi petang pula aktiviti pertama ialah seakan debate tapi tak pandang muka. contohnya sebelah pembangkang sebelah lagi menyokong. duduk kat kerusi tapi diterbalikkan bertentangan antara dua group ni. payah juga sebenarnya. tajuk yang group kami dapat time ni pasal minyak kalau tak silap tapi disebabkan payah sangat nak suruh kami bercakap pegawai in charge tu tukar topic kepada 'seks sebagai matapelajaran baru di sekolah'. haha.

percaya lah setiap inci pergerakan dan pertuturan diambil kira. ada markah semua tu. lepas debate tu kena berkumpul dipadang pula. ini yang aku tunggu-tunggu. yang paling aku risaukan sebenarnya. kena berlari 2.2km. untuk siapa yang sampai kurang dari 10 min, dapat kad warna biru. 10-15min dapat kad warna kuning. 15-18min dapat kad warna merah. 18-25min dapat warna hijau. 25min keatas dapat warna putih. aku dapat warna merah, lebihkurang 17min untuk aku abiskan 2.2km tu. (tak ingat sangat warna-warna sebetulnya tapi lebih kurang macam ni la formatnya).

lepas penat berlari, kena berkumpul balik dalam kumpulan sesi petang. kali ni sesi english. lebih kurang macam time belajar dulu aku ade amik managerial communication. pegawai akan petik nama suruh kedepan, kita amik kertas-kertas yang dah dilipat kecik-kecik. dalam tu ade tajuk yang kena kita cakap in prompt to. tak boleh tulis apa-apa. ada group lain boleh tulis. diberi masa beberapa saat la kot utk tulis point nak cakap apa. depends dengan pegawai aku rasa ni. aku dapat tajuk 'watch'. payah juga sebenarnya padahal aku sempat discuss dengan geng-geng lagi nak buat rangka. contoh kalau apa je tajuk yang kita dapat, cuba buat '5w,1h'

what

why

who

when

where

how

sebab mostly tajuk de semua benda. paper clip la, camera la, stamp pad la. macam-macam. ingatkan kalau ada rangka ni senang sikit la kot. tapi sama juga. hehe. diberi masa 3minit untuk cakap pasal tajuk kita.

akhir sekali bersurai. sempat juga tukar-tukar no phone. mana tau boleh update apa-apa. kami tak diberitahu bila result PAC akan keluar. aku budget dalam bulan Nov. tapi tak tahu la. kena selalu check. nasib baik ada kenalan. salah sorang dari mereka juga lah yang bagitahu aku result dah keluar. bukan Nov, rupanya August dah keluar dah result.

p/s: sambung pasal interview nanti la. nak tidur dah. ngantuk.

al-kisah PTD (exam SPA)

2010-09-05T06:41:00.003+08:00

entry kali ini aku nak ceritakan pengalaman aku dengan PTD (pegawai tadbir dan diplomatik).

10th April 2010, tarikh titik permulaan aku untuk kearah PTD. untuk pertama kalinya aku menduduki peperiksaan perkhidmatan awam. waktu ni peperiksaan tu untuk 4 jawatan yang aku pilih time register SPA dulu. online registration through www.spa.gov.my

antara jawatan lain yang aku pilih selain PTD ialah pegawai penerangan, penguasa immigresen dan penguasa kastam. Alhamdulillah. aku lulus kesemuanya. time peperiksaan SPA ni aku tak de la belajar sangat. tak sempat sebab tengah kerja time ni. ada juga la study buku pekeliling perkhidmatan awam, source kat internet, and etc. tapi sebenarnya tak da la membantu sangat. orang cakap study buku malaysia kita atau 1malaysia. aku tak baca, jadi tak dapat nak ulas lebih. maybe korang boleh try.

antara soalan yang aku boleh ingat...

1. pemahaman am. dia akan tanya pasal kewarganegaraan. contoh yang aku ingat dia tanya pasal jata punya slogan. (jata ke yang ade harimau dua ekor tu. ye la kot kalau tak silap) ni objective je.

2. matematik. tak da la sampai tahap SPM punya soalan. cuma masalah masa. memang tak sempat. objective juga ni. soalannya lebih kurang macam "ali tinggi daripada abu, abu tinggi dari amad. siapa paling tinggi?", kena buat persamaan liner, kira peratusan chart tukar pada 360 darjah, dan etc.

3. subjective ada dua. untuk esei bahasa melayu dan english. kata orang score betul-betul time esei english ni sebab dia tengok tang tu. aku tak pasti betul tak. aku cuba yang termampu je. lain-lain aku serah kat tuhan. ok, esei bahasa melayu time ni ada beberapa soalan tapi pilih satu untuk jawap. yang aku ingat time ni kalau tak silap aku jawap pasal facebook untuk kerajaan. kena buat ulasan. lebih kurang macam tu la. dan untuk esei english aku pilih patriotism amongst youngster. masa akan cukup kalau kita pandai bahagikan masa. aku sempat buat rangka. rangkakan point dan isi aku untuk esei ni then baru start buat tanpa menoleh. insyallah sempat. kalau tak silap kena ada 300 patah perkataan untuk esei english. tak ingat pulak exactly berapa tapi memang kena comply la patah perkataan tu.

4. personality test ada dua paper kot. yang ni soalan 200 dan 300. masa diberi cuma 40 min dan 30 min. gila betul. aku tak paham kenapa orang lain siap cepat. aku amik masa lebih. orang semua dah balik aku masih menanda. nasib baik akak yang jaga tu ok. bila aku hantar tak lorek habis aku bagitahu akak tu yang aku tak sempat aku mampu buat macam tu je. tapi dia suruh aku habiskan juga. lorek balik semua. tak boleh lorek sikit-sikit. sebab dia guna computer.takut tak detect pula nanti. 30 minit aku amik masa extra. tapi aku nekad juga habiskan semua. ingatkan dah takde harapan nak lulus sebab tak reti uruskan masa kan?mana taknya aku tak baca soalan betul-betul pun, baca sekali imbas je. then aku nya keje lorek tu je dah makan masa satu minit. soalan beratus-ratus. dah separuh tu aku tengok masa dah abis orang pun dah balik aku takut tak sempat aku lorek lah ala kadar asalkan aku dapat jawab semua. haha.

alhamdulillah. dengan izin tuhan aku dah lepasi saat getir ni. lega juga rasanya. padahal time aku keluar dewan tu aku macam tak konfiden da sebab aku banyak buang masa. sampai akak yang jaga tu kena tunggu aku siapkan kertas aku pula. nasib baik mereka baik belaka.

new hairdo?

2010-08-28T17:39:00.003+08:00

i bet most of muslims have been busy with the preparation for aidilfitri. I myself as always have been busy lately with the cookies. well, untuk baju kurung aku dah antar lah sehelai nak buat baju kurung modern dan lagi satu kain ni masih belum decide nak buat ke tak since tukang jahit semua dah surrender.

rasa macam nak ubah gaya rambut. tapi macam tak perlu pula sebab azam untuk tahun depan nak simpan rambut panjang. so, tak boleh la nak potong sekarang. dan yang paling penting, muka aku tak sesuai dengan rambut pendek. tak best!

no new hairdo for this year raya. perhaps there'll be new me for the celebration. hmm.. maybe or maybe not. i don't really do shopping nowadays since i've been unemployed for almost 2 months now. so, i better stay at home.

one little girl

2010-08-26T23:24:00.002+08:00

i met this 5 years old girl. she's so adorable. she's chubby and i can't help myself from staring at her from the first time. she's so attractive, friendly, independent, etc. my dad met his friend at alamanda and that little girl happen to be the granddaughter of my father's friend.

the time she open her mouth asking the granddaddy to buy her toys, i start to admire her. her granddaddy said that nobody had taught her to speak in english. she learnt it by herself by only watching cartoon 24/7.

me and mama actually sat on the other table and she with her granddaddy and my father were at the other table. then, she start to wondering around on her own until finally she asked her dad to buy her toys. instead of saying "atuk! i want that" she said "e, i need toys". you should hear how she ask. like a 100% clone of television advertisement.

then after her granddaddy bought her barbie doll, instead of saying "barbie doll" she said "look, i have dolly" and sat next to me and mama as been instructed by her granddaddy. she called her granddaddy "e" because she refuse to call tuk cik and call her granny "mummy".

like really i adore her so much. i played with her with the dolly and she can't stop saying "hey..." like the one we used to hear in the cartoon. like totally with the tone, voice. and she can't stop smiling at passers by and said "dolly needs make up", "dolly needs a hairdo", "dolly need to go shopping". she's very brilliant i must say.

and then finally, yang lebih mencuit hati tu.. she independently walk to the beverages stall since we're actually sitting at the food court i forgot to mention. oh, before that she asked me to hold her dolly by saying "hey.. hold the dolly for me". she then wave her hands to the cashier as she's not that tall to see the 'kakak' behind the counter table. memang dia tak takut orang betul. then i saw she's pointing at something. then, smile and laugh.. and finally her mission accomplished when she went back to sit beside me with a beverage with her. she call it grape lit and i feel stupid to not knowing what was that.

bila nak bayarkan akak tu cakap dia belanja je adik tu. see, she's that adorable sampai orang pun suka ade dekat dengan dia.

rasa macam nak bawak balik pun ada. adorable sangat la. dan sayangnya aku lupa nak amik gambar dia sebab sibuk sangat tengok telatah dan gelagat dia.

syawal

2010-08-26T16:55:00.003+08:00

see me cry, see me laugh.

lagi-lagi syawal bakal menjelang. seramnya.

seram sebab nanti time bersalam-salaman,

ada babak nangis-nangis.

nak kena minta maaf pagi raya.

banyak ni dosa.

tapi yang seronoknya sebab dapat berkumpul sekeluarga

selamat menyambut hari raya mengikut cara sendiri!

tidur terganggu

2010-08-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

aku cuba tidur dalam keadaan yang agak letih dan lesu. aku penat. tapi setakat ni aku masih gagahi walau adakala aku rasa macam tak ada perasaan. i woke up early this morning to attend something important, though i know i wouldn't pass but still i manage to make it till the end. then straight away to kl for another important 'something' to attend. the journey of only 2 or 3 hours had took us almost 6 hours until got out from the car and arrived home (i mean my aunts home).

dapat singgah alamanda kejap pun tak sempat nak cuci mata. sedihnya. rasa bosan pun ada dah. entah apa yang bakal berlaku esok pun aku tak dapat nak paksa kepala aku untuk berfikir. yang ada sekarang cuma nak cepat habiskan dan lalui semua ni dengan jaya. aku janji akan buat yang terbaik dan sehabis boleh. selebihnya serahkan pada Allah yang maha esa. amin.

ada satu perasaan yang asyik mengganggu aku, sukar untuk aku huraikan dan hujahkan di sini. maybe not now. i wish me luck!

currently listening to see you soon by coldplay

engagement

2010-08-18T01:15:00.005+08:00

10th July 2010 - Kuantan.

tarikh keramat buat insan bernama Mohd. Alivf Khairudd

in dan pasangannya. it's his engagement day. a day where he's starting his steps of ending his single life. ehem ehem. my future sister in law, whom i use to call kak shida looks pretty that day.

mesti pelbagai perasaan dan emosi bercampur aduk masa ni. takut, gembira, nervous dll.

aku tak tahu samada perlu ke untuk tunjukkan gambar-gambar ini tapi setalh berpikir hampir masak dan hangus, akhirnya aku letak juga dalam entry kali ini. ini sepatutnya menjadi hal peribadi abang aku. tapi aku terasa nak berkongsi kegembiraan dia. dan paling penting, aku jadi orang penting hari itu sebab aku dan mama buatkan hantaran untuk dia dan aku jadi pengambil gambar bertauliah for his big day.

terima kasih kepada yang lain yang turut sama hadir bagi menjayakan majlis pada hari itu. alhamdulillah segalanya berjalan lancar.

semoga di berkati Allah selalu. amin

ini lah dia antara org paling penting

wishing upon

2010-08-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

i've been told that the album leaf is coming to Malaysia. this coming September, 7th. can i go mama, abah? i wish i could. i wish i can be there. to be part of it. just to watch them.

no. i wish too much for i have so much of wishes in life i could not get this one though just like the other several wishes before. nevermind. i'm not here complaining. i'm just explaining and expressing what i feel. the same feelings. we can't always get what we wish to have. trust me.

i'm happy to be here at home. i know i'm a person who love to play it safe. to not fly too high for i hate to fall down. the higher it gets the more hurt it caused and i am afraid of pain that can't be cure and which it might take a longer time to heal it. so i rather be here with all my 'guts'. thank you

Hurray! graduate!

2010-08-17T02:12:00.000+08:00

i am too lazy to upload pictures nowadays. simply for no reasons. but i have this one picture above, enough la eh? ;)

well, supposedly this entry is about my convocation day, my big day, and it's MMU 11th Convocation. After all the hardships and efforts i am so proud of myself to receive the degree. on that day 2nd August 2010 i am officially MMU graduates. i never thought i could feel what i felt that day. mix of feelings get into me. at times i'm happy, sad, proud, glad, nervous and etc.

congrats to me, friends and all MMU graduates! we finally make it to the end. unfortunately an end is where we begins.

"what we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning. the end is where we start from."

- T.S. Eliot, 'Little Gidding'

afraid

2010-08-16T00:39:00.006+08:00

i'm hoping that all the wish would come true. i desperately hope it will.

insyallah i know with God's will, if it's meant for me then it will be. just a matter of time. i wish that i had a job that suits me. at least a job that i feel like like to do. i know that we can't always have what we wanted to have. well, i can still have a try until i finally gets it right?

life had turn me upside down and unfortunately i'm still standing still. kenapa la tak jatuh je sekarang ni? haha. at least i know how to holding on, how to be strong even it's not as easy as saying it. i've gone through hell. but no one's are allowed to take all that away from me. though it's my hard time, i really am glad to have it with me. at least it makes me become stronger. lesson learn is always the best medicine to cure every unpleasant feelings.

i wish i'll have the strength to stood still onwards. by all means, i try to rise on my own. if it's not me who wanted so much to help myself at the first place, how can anyone else surrounds me got the opportunity to even help me? remember (Azwin) you must try to help yourself before thinking of help from people's surrounds. they can't do anything if it wasn't you who took the effort. you have to push yourself. harder this time. hardest next time.

time. will always cure the pains.

p/s: currently listening to hero by enrique iqlesias. and kosong by dewa. :/

:)

2010-08-16T00:23:00.000+08:00

can't wait to write an update of life's rock!

Berbuka puasa

2010-08-15T18:46:00.001+08:00

Ramadhan menguji tahap kesabaran kita. Setiap kali ramadhan tiba setiap kali tu la mesti aku teringat apa berlaku tahun lepas lepas. Tiap tahun mesti buka dengan family, tak lupa juga gan kawan kawan, sedara mara. Rindunya. Rindu semua. But life goes on and i'm moving on. Turning a year older each year. At this point when i look back at the good all days, i'm glad to have all those memories safe with me. Smile :)

Ramadhan

2010-08-15T12:30:00.002+08:00

Happy fasting to all muslims. Im helping mama with to sell lauk-pauk during this Ramadhan. it was fun. unfortunately on 13th August, 3rd of Ramadhan, there's a heavy rain in Malacca. we're all under the canopy but we still got wet. luckily nobody's hurt and that we manage to sell all the lauk-pauk that day. then on the following night, we heard the news that there's tiny twister at jasin's bazaar. 3 died, which one of them are the customer and 2 of them are the seller. inalillah.

may Allah bless us. i'm off to batu pahat for buka puasa with the cousins. excited!

try sleeping with a broken heart lyric

2010-08-06T10:50:00.000+08:00

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even in the bottom of the sea
I can still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were telling me lies

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart
Well you can try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound
Why don’t you hold me, need me, I thought you told me
You’d never leave me

Looking in the sky I can see your face
And i knew right where I’d fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I’ll always be in love with you
Right til the end

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could have told you right from the start
It’s bout fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
Or just hold onto love
And I could find a way to make it
Don’t hold on too tight
I’ll make it without you tonight

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Pain in reality

2010-07-18T20:31:00.002+08:00

Yes. for i have been busy lately. With something personal indeed. Ehemm. (with face down to cover the blush on my cheek)

Well, i'm going to write about something more personal and a bit sensitive here but the reality is rather painful isn't it?

No.this has nothing to do with me n my bloody life, alright. I have to put this before everyone who ever read this could jump into false judgment.haha.

I'm sure most of us have read and heard the news bout 'peterporn'. I'm here just to add up some opinion. Might be at good or bad side. What else to say,it had spread to all of us.everyone's talking bout that i supposed.

I pity both of them in the scene/video.i wanted to know how the story ends and hope that this story doesn't ends like other stories that just remain close and blown with the wind.

irony.i want this to be stopped but at some point i want the investigation to get its final result.the laptop of that male singer has been stolen and unfortunately all that dirty x-rated video is in there.i bet this must be the male singer sex collection or what-so-ever it's his personal.if he were really intended to spread it to the whole world he should did that long ago but he didn't.he kept it safe to himself until the laptop was stolen.damn that robber. but ya, i did wonder does the laptop really got stolen? i have no clue at all.

if he were to be charged under his action of spreading the video,it's not fair.only if it's proven true that he's found guilty.but if he's charged under doing 'sex' before marriage,maybe it is rather fair.does they even muslims?i don't know.huhu

p/s: i don't know? I should have known before even writing bout this at first place but i just feel like writing it so i did.this is just an opinion and a feeling to be shared or not.

something to share

2010-06-23T01:50:00.005+08:00

I've been excitedly trying to finished up my reading of this one novel called 'do you come here often?' by Alexandra Potter. it was good to finally - for almost a week nearly come to the ending of the story. well, actually to be honest i was cheating as i peek a look at the last page to know the ending. i can't help it. perhaps that's one of another habit of mine.

it's about how do you know when someone is the right one? i was wondering and curiously searching the answer in the entire story. i probably happen to find it in there.
it stated that
'It's got nothing to do with luck.'
'It's about being with the right man.' and how do we know when someone is the right one?
'you'll know'.

and I'm certain that we will. all of us will (am more to telling myself right now) :)
I know the right ones will fight for this. will stand for the relationship. for 'them'. for their own sake. not for anyone else. not even their alter-ego, selfishness, silliness or anything else in the whole world could defeat them from saving and fighting for the relationship/love they have.

night! i wish I'll find mine. the right man. my Mr right. (I'm not saying that I'm still searching or been waiting patiently, he'd probably standing in front of me). It's just a matter of time and deep within me is hoping and out of all i really wished that i ain't have a bad timing that it wasn't too late.

'After all, they say the best things in life are worth waiting for' Dr. Cupid in the story once told in the novel. wink ;)

10 things i hate about you

2010-05-06T20:03:00.004+08:00

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close…
Not even a little bit…
Not even at all.

p/s: ever heard of this? i love the quote. got this from one of my favorite movie, '10 things i hate about you' ever since my previous laptop been robbed, i never get the chance to watch this movie all over again. :(

hendak

2010-05-06T20:03:00.001+08:00

tolong!!! nak tengok IPman dengan Ironman. secepat mungkin

sharing is caring

2010-04-27T00:42:00.005+08:00

i have:

1. preciousca bella
2. orlando ogata
3. baby
4. pentra adora
5. della
6. dixie
7. brownieszathura

i know. i have it all. Alhamdulillah. i wish that life treat me good. :) sometimes when i look back, my life is not that bad somehow. i can still consider myself lucky as compare to other that even worse that me. i pray that they'll have their time. that they'll finally feel that no one's life has been perfect. live your life and remember that everything happen for reasons. just pray that god will give us strength to face it all.

mood: thankful

a sigh

2010-04-27T00:27:00.002+08:00

i have flaws
and i have so much scar
that not to be shown

i cried and laugh
i fall and rise
i did it all by myself

you'll have friends n family
who cares to death about you
there's no doubt bout it
but in the end
you'll still die alone

the fact is
no matter how hard
you've been trying
to explain n tell others
bout the thing you feel
bout everything you've thought
anything across your mind
you'll finally find
your ownself who struggling
to find the way out

no one could ever do anything
if you refuse to help yourself
no one would believe you could
if you ignore to feel and believe in you

you could ask help by anyone in the whole world
but remember, still you yourself
who should help yourself at the first place
you are responsible for everything that happen
and god knows
god knows everything
leave the rest to him
and he'll guide you to the right path

curest

2010-04-06T19:07:00.003+08:00

shopping list!!!

1. handphone (the model will be kept confidential)
2. new hair-do
3. debtors settlement (sigh~)

hahaha. whatever. ada aku kesah. ada aku kesah kenapa aku jadi gila macam ni? ada aku kesah on your bloody fuc*king face that you showed? you're a jerk creature. a freaking monster like comes from hell that love making others life miserable. you've dirty heart that you don't deserve to be forgiven yet i still forgive you but i'm not going to forget whatever you've done wrong. since i won't have the chance to give you back, i'm sure God will. certain of that. you just wait. you'll see langit tu tinggi ke rendah. i'm sure one day you'll regret and if you don't well... you're so pathetic. and now i come to my senses that i know why you're not in pink of health. freak you siamang.

Family Day Program 2010

2010-04-04T17:54:00.007+08:00

On 3rd April 2010:

my first family day with friends at work (colleague). I'm one of the committee for this event. I'm having so much fun during, before and after this Family Day. Thanks to all that have supported us from the very beginning.

Well, first love is the deepest some would say. It is to me since it is my first time. I hope that i'll get more chance to do this again in future. hehe. Luckily it all went well even though the time were delayed, it was raining, etc etc.

I will miss this moment. like damn so much :)

p/s: happy dan penat sangat sampai baju pun tertinggal. ahahhaa

2010-04-02T00:44:00.004+08:00

Nokia E71 red

Nokia E72

which one is worth buying?
which one caused less problem to users?
which phone will you recommend to other?
tell me now! ASAP.
could you state the drawbacks and good things bout these phone please, only if you have any. hehe.
sharing is caring aite. tell me bout it ya?
i would really love to know your experiences with the phone.
Thanks

p/s: Help! Help!

Photo shoot

2010-04-01T21:02:00.002+08:00

jangan jeles. aku pun dah ada photo shoot sekarang ni. macam biasa, bila weekend je kitaorang akan keluar berjalan. kali ni ke pengkalan balak and tanjung bidara. cantik je laut kan? ni sebahagian gambar yang dapat di ambil.

p/s: tak de mood langsung. idea pun tak mau keluar. ni lah hasilnya

award from kobeng

2010-04-01T00:55:00.003+08:00

STEP 1: PUT THIS PICTURE IN YOUR BLOG

STEP 2: THANKS THE ONE WHO GAVE TO U

thanks a lot to Kobeng.

STEP 3: GIVE TO 15 OTHER FRIENDS

SYIA
ZIZI
DIBA

STEP 4: SEVEN THINGS ABOUT U

emotional and sensitive
obsessive (only for certain occasion)
second child
petite person with loud voice
love to play bella. like to name her beloved belongings
proud/pure johorean
favorite number 7 and 2

family vacation

2010-04-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

tak dapat ambil gambar mama gan abah pulak. adoi. baru perasan cuma ada gambar tiga beradik jek. macam mana ni?

haha. it's been age since we all went for a vacation. like seriously sangat lama. well, this is a sudden vacation. we actually didn't plan to go to Genting since my brother had planned to take us to Perak. i can't recall what was the name of that place. it's an island. sigh~ (i'm getting older)

So, we went here for 2 days and one night. we arrived there at night, and checked in. the hotel was fully booked, luckily we manage to get one apartment. the place is ok lah. so so. my sister went crying of hating the place. haha. whatever~ the problem is, we were late. we should have booked earlier.

but this time, me and the siblings went to the theme park. it was damn fun. we spent almost the whole day there. most of the time queuing. hahah. yes! it's so much worth it. i'm having so much fun even i cried my heart out over sollero shot. i thought i was going to die. i can't stop screaming and suddenly i realized that i was crying. haha. unintentionally ok.

p/s: nak pergi genting lagi boleh?

Wedding

2010-03-30T21:23:00.005+08:00

with bridegroom

mama, abah, along, mokteh and pokteh

sempat pekena mee bandung muar

mee bandung sedap!

the ride

buruknya muka malas nak gi kerja kawen

I went to Muar, Johore with the parents and my brother to attend my uncle's wedding. he got married with a beautiful lady. lucky him. on the way back, we manage to stop by having mee bandung muar. maximum satisfaction.

well, as we arrived most of my relative dah nak balik challet balik dah as they all rent a challet nearby. we were late because of me. i had my driving class before hand and only finished at noon. at first, we thought of not going there this time tapi jadi pergi juga.

p/s: Selamat pengantin baru to them!

to segamat for nasi beringin

2010-03-30T20:52:00.004+08:00

tidur

marah

tidur lagi

tension

gila

last weekend, we went to Segamat just for the sake of menginginkan nasi beringin as our brunch (breakfast+lunch). unfortunately, the shop was closed. (cuit lidah, calit kat dahi). well, anyhow we manage to get a service recovery by having a great dish at one shop there. sedap. it's worth it. but then, on the way back to melaka i felt sick. like very sick. i threw out almost along the way back. then fall asleep and vomit, and asleep and vomit. sigh~ i had gastric pain and menstrual-pain.

i manage to survive all the way. nasib baik.

p/s: i've lost my mood since like 3 months now. so not in the mood for anything. rasa macam nak gila dah. macam nak buang orang (buang dari apa pun tak tahu). macam nak belasah orang. macam nak lempang orang (nasib baik belum rasa nak bunuh orang). dan pelbagai macam rasa lagi. tensionnya! tak tahan.

si gila

2010-03-18T20:34:00.004+08:00

i went back to my hometown with the parents few days back
jalan-jalan and to fetch my cousins
since it's already school holiday
will update on the picture soon.
too many things to do at times
there's still no changes with that.
i still have to do many things at time.
even if i don't want to
and whether i like it or not
i still have to do it.

GGrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

tensionnya. stressnya. bila nak hilang saket kepala ni?

p/s: lain yang nak cerite, lain pulak yang terkarang. mood pun tiba-tiba dah tak de.

something

2010-03-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

ohh. i'm entering the third months.

shopping list

2010-02-26T02:37:00.002+08:00

can i have it here?

yes!

1. mouse/mice for my della
2. della shirt. :)
3. flip flop
4. pump shoe
5. bracelet/ necklace
6. books
7. diary/ notebook

thank you.

p/s: how i wish i could also get other stuffs that beyond my budget. hehe. i wanted to have new handphone, and nikon.

slightly

2010-02-18T20:09:00.004+08:00

my routine life has changed.
during weekdays, morning i will wake up at 6.30am
then get ready to work.
at 1pm during break
mama will fetch me to go lunch
on the evening 5.30pm
mama awaits me after work.
sometimes she had to wait almost an hour
and sometimes im the one who waits.
but it always been her waiting for the daughter.

during weekend! which i eagerly wait everyday
we'll go jalan-jalan.
usually i have prepared the plan which place to go.
badminton, makan-makan, beach-ing, playing guitar etc. etc.

it seems that now everything just goes by
on a glance the days had gone
i just notice that i've been working for almost 2 months.
sigh~
the question is, can i survive another 50 years?

there is a light that never goes out by the smith

2010-02-15T23:21:00.002+08:00

Take me out tonight
Where theres music and theres people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because its not my home, its their
Home, and I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
If it crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
Ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i
Just couldn't ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, da ...
Oh, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
if it crashes into us
To die by your side
Ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out

p/s: ost 500 days of summer. best!

the dell

2010-02-06T19:28:00.002+08:00

ok guys, choose the best out of these two.

which one is worth spending?
which one that you feel like want to have?

it's actually the same model Inspiron 14 by Dell.
the only different is the color.
now. what say you?

to beloved dad

2010-02-06T12:01:00.007+08:00

abah,

you are the friend,
the person who always there when i need
the one whom i seek for advice
to console me when i'm down

to criticize me when you think i had to remove my bad attitude
to nag me when i was hardheaded
to scold me when i was wrong

i remember this time when you always spank us with ur belt
it hurts a lot and i feel like i hate you that time
but i knew deep down inside my heart
i love you so much
but i was too young to understand.

i remember you give us punishment
every-time we can't memorize the 'sifir' (multiply if i'm not mistaken)
i remember this once
i cried for mercy hoping that you would understand that i'm not feeling well
but you still asked me to memorize the shape in english.
i was dead mad.

but now i knew it why
you made me become someone
a person with dreams and hope
a better person to be precise

i know you only want the best of us, your children
you don't scold for nothing, you spank us because you love
but you always explain to us why you give punishment
i will always remember what you've always said
you told us that what you did is because you love and care
back then i don't understand it
but now i can see it.
i've gained the outcome.
it really is for our own sake not to you.
seeing us success in life is an achievement to the parents.

eventhough i am not like others that better than me
that studied oversea, become a doctor or whatsoever
i am purely proud to be your daughter
and hope that you are too.
i can't say more. you're the incredible dad, abah. love you always.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

beg

2010-01-31T19:29:00.004+08:00

only Him i can rely on

only to Him i can asked for

i can only cry to him beg him

cause only Him that knows me best

that eventually understand this all

that i believe

he would somehow answer it all

respond to it

i believe

he knows the best

more than i know it myself

he has His own plan

i can only be patience

of waiting what would happen next

of what should i faced in future

to leave everything in His hand is what i felt now

amin

a sigh

2010-01-23T08:18:00.003+08:00

it's been awhile since i last drop something here. i faced a new challenge in life, new environment, new path in life. i've entered to working life. i wonder how abah get thru this. i mean, last time it was his time to seek for income to the family and now onwards, it's me and my brother. i have this mind that always thought of getting things better for my family. i want the parents to be happy. to have what they wanted to have in life. i wanted to take good care of them.

with the help of God, i manage to get a place to work. alhamdulillah. but, if we gain some we'll lose some. yes. i do lost some. i'm not quite sure whether the choice is right or wrong, but when it comes to the parents i know what i did was right. i wanted to be with them all times. i would want nothing else if i have the parents.

i sacrifices. i cried. but, i believe that this is what i have to face. aku redha dengan segala ketentuannya. aku sedar aku cuma manusia biasa. tak dapat lari dari dugaan dan ujian darinya. tapi aku juga sedar, dia akan berikan ganjaran dan hikmah pada setiap hambanya yang bersabar. aku mohon diberikan kekuatan dan ketabahan untuk lalui semua ini. amin.

p/s: orang lain mungkin tak paham, tak tahu apa yang kita rasa/pikir/mahu. walau dengan cuba untuk menerangkan belum tentu akan dapat difahami sepenuhnya. hanya tuhan yang tahu. biarlah segala ditentukan olehnya. aku berserah setelah berusaha.

work-wise

2010-01-02T23:19:00.012+08:00

didn't say much on my job-seeking and career experiences in most of my entry. it's not that i don't want to share it, somehow i felt kinda embarrass to discuss much bout it (whatever). don't want to be called like 'belum apa-apa dah palu gendang satu kampung'. my intention here is only to share my experience and that's all. not that i've succeeded or want to show off. there's still a long way to go and there's still someone that is better than me but at least i can share some tips.

i experienced 6 interviews so far. applied via email or write-in for almost 20+ companies in Malaysia and almost 30 positions; both public and private sectors. been offered for 3 different positions and companies.

the first interview. at multimedia university, malacca.
position: executive for school relation and promotion program.

it's like a first love. i will not ever forget this. nervous and shaking. the first time of my interview session ended good. not good in sense of the result (i didn't get the job). the interviewers was very nice. 3 of them and happen for only about 5mins. thanks to madam zaharah for the information and help. unfortunately, i've been told that i can't be hired since i haven't graduated (but the truth? only they have the answer). the best part is i was selected candidate amongst others. there's only 7 of us. glad to be one of the shortlisted.

the second interview. at iCimb,KL.
position: executive for electronic banking department.

tough/hard 45mins interview for me among other interview that i've attended. i become (not speechless but) hopeless. i can't find the exact answer to their questions. it's like come to a dead end. i was trapped with my own statement. they provoke. good job to the interviewers. the session had tought me a lot during other interviews. God knows what best for me right. glad that i attended the interview, at least i gained something. even though, i'm the only person who showed up for the interview that day, there are still a thin chance for me. until now, i haven't heard from them.

the third interview was at Hatten Group, Malacca.
position: marketing and leasing executive.

the company manage Dataran Pahlawan; one of the famous shopping complex in Malacca town. developer. it attract my interest. the interview was casual and it happen in a very pleasant atmosphere. and this was only the first session. sigh~ but hey! i pass the first stage. happy for that 40 mins interview.

the forth interview. at Vads, TTDI KL.
position: customer service consultant.

the interview was good. the interviewer was a bit particular. it happen almost one hour. thanks to syafiq and his dad for the help. i appreciate it so much. thank you. the company is tm subsidiary (if i'm not mistaken). i will be in charge in M1 projects if i were to joined the company. deal with Singaporean customer base. interesting yet chalenging. the rumeneration package is good; with allowances and monthly bonus. but having to moved to KL is a big concern to me. to live alone without the parents. alamak! but i still consider it. try to search nearest and cheapest room rental. then, consider the transportation expenses and time consumption. i was dead serious but sadly i had to reject the good news from the company. it is the first good news and first job offer i heard from all of my job application.

the fifth interview. at CTRM Aero Composite, Malacca.
position: Commercial Executive.

the interview session held for about one hour. with my previous interview experience, i've improved. i don't feel any nervousness and i treat all the interviewer as a friend or some people that wanted to know more bout me. they just want to have a chat. positive mind works. i don't expect much for this company. i thought i didn't get the chance. but hey, i got it. i've attended the interview and i was accepted. the third good news for my job application. just my luck. alhamdulillah. this company produce panels/parts for aircraft. try google. i'm in charge in contract management section; excited bout it. tideous work they say, but i can't make any judgement yet; at least not for 4 days of my involvement. lots to learn. have to stay positive.

the sixth interview (don't count this) second stage interview by Hatten Group.
position: refer above.

i've been offered for the job. second good news that i heard. i was interviewed by the executive director and HR person. i accepted it at first. even the salary and the fringe benefit is not that attractive. i'm willing because i'm interested with the job scope. somehow, i felt like.. 'this is still not it, isn't it?'. there's something holds me back. seriuosly, it was a hard decision to make.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
then, i wonder i have to know the result for CTRM interview, did i get it or not. i called them for comfirmation since they're the first in my list since i attended their interview session. they said that i was accepted but will call again the next week because the boss haven't sign my offer letter. and that was when i felt like 'finally'. i am very grateful even for this first week of work i felt damn tired and pressured. i can only leave it to Him to lead the way. hoping that everything would be just fine. i faced challenge in a very first place. i would want to be a better and stronger person onwards.

the lesson should be learn in every of our previous experiences. in this case; the interview session. should carefully seek what is lack and what is wrong. try the best to improve in future undertaking. try not to commit the same mistakes. i.e. if you was trapped with your own answers/statement, try to be extra careful during next interview. try to use a very safe statement. play-safe is important in my case. it's alright to pretend/lie/acting, but don't get too overboard. the important is to get hired.

p/s: dedicated for those who interested to read all bout it.

new year entry again

2010-01-01T10:35:00.005+08:00

i'm experiencing a transformation in life, which i hate it so much. i hate changes since before born ;p well, this is life. transformation is for good (or might be for bad). i always believe that everything that God's wrote has it own reasons. i bet, mine as well. my love life, personal, working life, study life and etc. it all happened for reasons. i'm the one who should learn from it. to muhasabah diri. to sit awhile and think deeply why it had to happen. there must be reasons.

i faced challenged in life, i know i can make it this time because a very big prize will come soon if i stay patient. i know i have to accept it. i've gone so far i can't turn back, what's best that i could do is to leave the rest to God after trying the best to work it out. usaha tangga kejayaan. tuhan berikan ujian untuk menguji sejauh mana tahap kita ni untuk dia beri ganjaran atau mungkin ujian/dugaan yang seterusnya.

the new year eve. happy new year. aku mengambil kesempatan ini untuk berubah tidak secara drastic tetapi sedikit demi sedikit. i know now, this is one of the reason why God's wrote my fate this way. every problems have its own solution. aku cuma mampu bertawakal kepada-Nya. aku dah cuba yang terbaik, aku sentiasa berdoa supaya tuhan tunjukkan aku jalannya. amin

.new year review.

2010-01-01T02:06:00.007+08:00

it all happen too fast. feels like baru semalam lepas SPM. time envy me so much huh. i've been through so much things in life. even some people might think that it's not as good as theirs or what so ever but i love mine. good or bad it is, it's very essential. all memories, experiences shall not fade. all mine.

there goes my uni life,
there goes my laptop,
my hindi songs,
my favorite songs,
my MJ's songs,
my movies,
my p***,
my picture,
my videos,
my hardship during uni-assignments,
there goes my so-called-pleasure of jalan-jalan satu melaka with mama and cik ani,
there goes my long hair,

too much to list. nanti bila ingat update lagi lah.

well. this is the review. panjang lebar. farewell 2009.

p/s: hello to 2010; A380 FLELP and IOFLE

it's not the time

2009-12-26T12:04:00.004+08:00

rumah aku di pecah masuk baru-baru ini on monday. that damn f**kers stole my laptop, abah's ps2 and mama's zulian things. for everything happen for reasons i believe it did. but the fact that i am so very love my almost-10years-laptop had caused me feeling so damn sad and down. i'm still in trauma. still having nightmares. it's not as easy as saying it 'sabar je la'. yes, because i know there's nothing much that i can do. at least i have to be grateful that we're safe.

tapi lantak lah. the important thing is that my life goes on. i am still trying. trying to recover as soon as possible. i will be entering a new life after this. all the best to me!

D.O.B.

2009-12-20T17:51:00.003+08:00

omg!

i just love the day. i mean, today.
it's sunday and it's my birthday.
haaaa... so great. to have a birthday on your favorite day.
jyeah! jyeah! i feel like dancing. NO! i'm already dancing.
auuu auuu~ happy birthday girl!!

p/s: i'm happy.

the cake

my free regular birthday pizza. damn sweet!

sedihnya umur dah bertambah

aksi pemotongan kek

birthday present.

antara manusia yang sangat baik dan generous pada hari lahir kali ini. thank you so much korang. appreciate it so much.

orang yang telah diupah. thanks syafiq!

shopping hadiah birthday. thanks manto!

thanks rudy. walaupun tak ada, sempat lagi plan utk awin.

my month

2009-12-04T02:22:00.003+08:00

it's already December. as a December baby, i wait for this month every year. it's the last month of the year.
happy birthday to everyone who was born in december. we rock!!

p/s: a new english book/novel would be perfect for the birthday this year.

no one

2009-11-27T09:11:00.003+08:00

if this is what i want. then i'll get it. if i am not sure what is it, then no one would. try asking others, they probably can give you so many reasons and opinions but the truth is only you who know what you really need. try to stick with what your heart said. be true to yourself let the heart say it out loud. listen to them carefully.

it's already aidiladha eve. i am ready with my baju kurung wanted to go to enstek. a gathering with nyayi (granny) and the rest. my uncle is getting married. yes. uncle and he's almost 60 but still maintain. hehe. he's a single parents since 3 years back.

i have to move on with life. i am so keen to achieve many things in life right. i should carry on and do my best. the rest, redha and tawakal. i know if it's still not the time, it won't come. rezeki ada dimana-mana. i always believe that everything happen for reasons.

i remember this one. "if we're down for nothing, God's up to something". it's always about time. i still get it no matter what because that is what i need and want. i'll do my very best for it. and still we can only planned, tuhan yang menentukan. dia lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk aku. and i always pray that i been given strengths to get over all the obstacles.

changes (again?)

2009-11-26T11:04:00.002+08:00

k. everything surrounds me are changing. i have finished my studies (but currently not officially graduated as my status doesn't appear as 'grad'. i wonder why. after so many years in mmu i still don't really understand how the system goes.) today is a big day for me. kinda. i have too much things to do. still! thought that i don't have to do much things at one time but i still have to do that even i had no more assignments or coursework to be done.

life. it is important to become a multi task person you see. very stressing, tiring. but what option do i have left? none. oh, well there is. but if i took the wrong direction i might have collapse or lost the big opportunity in life. that's not really good sign for me though.

and my love life sux. i know that. i'm not good at loving people i guess. but i'm pretty sure i love hating others. haha. yeah. it's hard for me to list what i love but it's very easy to list what i hate. i love to live a simple life but sometimes (or often) life becomes so complicated to me. or probably i choose it to be that way. whatever.

i have less friends now. i have like only mama and abah and few trusted friends to count on. though i really need them right now (but not quite sure what is it for. just need them. nothing in particular). might be because now i have come to my senses that i have to be independent. this is the time for me to go on my own. even i hate that fact so much i have to face the reality. it is happening whether i like it or not whether i'm ready or haven't. i should tell this to my interviewer la. i know that this is the time. i have to be ready and i am ready. to stand on my feet. but can i still ask mama abah to accompany me to the interview? hhehehe. for the support ok. don't get me wrong.. i need them. badly. i want to be with them at all time. i want them to stay with me wherever i may go. the end.

p/s: love doesn't always come our way. we have to seek. yes! but i bet this is not my time to love. i should have notice this from the first place. i am so stupid. well, opportunities always come when we least expect it. good luck!

weekender

2009-11-24T10:35:00.004+08:00

hari nikah

yang masih single perlu teruskan perjuangan

sepetang di sunway piramid

me, julie and lisa. all the way from melaka for jun

me and lisa

with julie

with the bridegroom

my weekend comes again. kali ini a bit different. even time interview tu pun aku asik ingatkan diri sendiri 'tak pe azwin. ko abiskan interview ni then weekend ni ko akan berseronok'. aku ke kl. untuk hadiri wedding june. need to stay one night there so three of us me, lisa and julie have decided to get a hotel. june recommended starcity sebab dekat dengan dewan diaorang kawin and the pengantin pun duk situ malam pertama tu. ahaha.

so, nikah on saturday and bersanding on sunday. semuanya macam elok je. tapi dengar dari june, macam-macam hal dah jadi. time kitaorang sesat nak cari rumah dia tu, dia call menangis sebab takut. mak andam dia pun buat hal sebab datang lewat. kesian june. nasib baik semuanya masih teratur lagi.alhamdulillah. june pun dah selamat dinikahkan. semoga bahagia ke anak cucu. kisah percintaan lebih kurang 6tahun tu dengar-dengar. dapat orang terengganu.

pagi pagi lepas subuh dah gerak dari melaka. kelakar. pengalaman betul. sebab june nikah pagi sabtu. adoi. lepas nikah tu aku lisa and julie layan diri sendiri je. duk hotel tengok hindustan petang tu patutnya ada plan yang lebih menarik yang memang aku dah terpikir dah plan dari sebelum sampai kl lagi. tapi tak menjadi. so, keluar lah kami bertiga sahaja ke sunway piramid. takut nak jalan jauh-jauh. budget pun tak de. sesat karang susah pula.

entah kenapa. aku asik tidur je. bila diam sikit aku tidur. kelakar. then, lepas bersanding on sunday tu kitaorang pun bertolak balik melaka. sekejap gila lisa drive. 1 jam 20 min je rasanya. haha. aku apa lagi. tertidur sekejap kat dalam kereta. balik tu we all singgah mydin and restoran nasi ayam penyet. and my weekend was ok.

p/s: selamat pengantin baru june!! congrats

the bosan

2009-11-24T10:00:00.006+08:00

sangat-sangat tertekan. kenapa la aku ni? sekarang rasa macam kosong dan sangat bosan. aku langsung tak ada mood. tensionnya! tak tau apa puncanya. aku sedar semua ni time pergi interview last thursday. naik lrt gan mama abah. tengok diaorang buat aku rasa sangat sedih. kesian kat diaorang. bila lah aku ni nak diterima bekerja. betul ke kata interviewer tu aku ni tak ready lagi? i have my own opinion to that.

she said that there are diffirences between 'need a job' and 'ready for a job'. i don't really get what she's trying to do. whether she just simply said that or she wanted to provoked or something else. i really have no clue at all. what i know that, people need to be ready for a job and need a job. both. sebab kalau dia ready sahaja pun tapi doesn't really need to have a job so it's pointless. i need a job, yes. and that makes me ready for a job because i know what my needs are. compare to others i have the commitment and dedication towards a job that been offered to me. aku akan lebih ikhlas buat kerja sebab aku tau.. i need a job desperately. and that, that would make me ready to work. i am ready. ready to learn and gain experience as much as i can absorb. i believe i can make it happen.

i try to smile and remain calm during the interview. but i knew deep down that i didn't do quite well. i have tried my really best. try not to be so timid but to be confident and loud (oh. i am that loud. suara aku je rasanya lebih kuat dari suara interviewer tu. haih. they both are really nice people). aku memang tak confident dapat.

well that's not about it. yang penting aku pelajari sesuatu. if i were given another chance. i would try to do better. tapi tu lah. dah terlambat pun. i wanted to tell them so many things. i felt like i just waste my 40mins interview. i should stress that if i'm not willing to learnt, to gain experience, to be part of the organization, to be a better employee, to have positive mind of the position, etc etc.. i wouldn't came for the interview at the first place. and plus. i was the only candidate who came on that day. the other 3 candidates didn't even showed up.

oh God. let us just pray. i've done my part just like abah said. others can't really help me. i have to help myself. whatever the interviewer had said, just swallow it and learn a lesson. i did. everyone had tried to help me i know. cik cah, cik zee, my parents and friends. giving me advice and support me. i thank them a lot. i told to abah once. everyone might try to tell me the dos and don'ts during the interview. but i said, it is never easy as what you and the others have said to me you know. i did try to make it happen. i tried my best. then abah said.. 'you just be sincere and be yourself there. they just wanted to get to know you more. try not to be nervous'. it works for my second interview. i felt less nervous during this interview. i try to be comfortable and i am. but i know it wasn't good enough. i still can't give the best answer to them. aku tak dapat nak betul-betul luahkan apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan. jadi aku redha. biar tuhan yang menentukan.

the best is. let just try it again for another interview. i have to improve rite? aku belum lagi give up. interview hari tu jawapannya pun belum tahu lagi. i won't jump into conclusion. i still would want to know what is the result. this thursday adalah penentuannya. so whatever it is. i will try to accept it. rejection or acceptation. hehe

p/s: tak payah la baca. membosankan betul tengok entry ni. kosong tanpa gambar. hanya tulisan. dengan tak berwarna. sangat tak creative.

bella cover 'im not an actor by MLTR'

2009-11-13T01:11:00.007+08:00

p/s: my all time favorite video. i just love it!
sorry. can't help it. i must have love myself too much i guess
i tend to be so tak malu by uploading my own video.
eiii. kelakar je. i ought to be satisfied and happy too
so what? have a nice day!
-xoxo-

journey

2009-11-12T17:45:00.007+08:00

shasha: awak,senyum.
mocha: mcm ni? =)
shasha: bukan la. nampak gigi
mocha: mcm ni eh =D ok
shasha: angkat tangan.
mocha: ngee~
shasha: ha.. macam tu la

ni la shasha

musim hujan je sekarang ni. cuaca sejuk. panas kurang. kepala aku pun makin la berserabut. sejuk-sejuk sangat pun tak berapa elok untuk aku ni. buat pening kepala sebab menahan ngantuk. semalam berjalan ke sepang. pergi enstek rumah pakcik aku, cik cah. nak minta tolong dia recommendkan mana-mana kerja. jadi bawa resume untuk bagi dia. sekarang ni baru aku rasa macam mana susah nak cari kerja. mungkin ada orang yang murah rezeki senang je cari kerja. ni la nasib aku. aku redha dan sangat terima. aku percaya ada hikmah.

aku dah berusaha dan berdoa. selebihnya aku cuma berserah. dalam perjalanan ke sepang tu aku cakap gan mama 'sekarang ni angah rasa cuba je semua. ibaratkan macam main game kat fun fair tu yang baling gelung ke botol. kalau aku baling satu mungkin tak kena. tapi cuba aku baling banyak-banyak beribu lemon, mungkin akan sangkut satu. pun jadi lah. amin'.

dapat la jumpa anak buah aku. baru umur 3tahun tapi petahnya bercakap. siap dah reti amik gambar guna hp aku. senang diajar. bijak betul. macam orang tua.

apa-apa pun harap semuanya berjalan lancar untuk aku dan keluarga. cukup la dengan pressure yang datang dan pergi selama ini. aku dah naik fed up. tak kuasa nak layan yang mana yang tak perlu. baik aku dulukan apa yang perlu didulukan. aku nak ringankan beban keluarga. nak jalani hidup aku dengan lancar. kalau boleh tak perlu ada masalah dengan manusia lain, kawan, teman etc etc. dan buat masa ini aku tak perlukan sesiapa yang mendatangkan mudarat melainkan keluarga dan sebab itulah aku sedar yang aku belum bersedia untuk pikul tanggungjwab lain yang lebih besar selain dari sekadar anak. aku tak nak ambil risiko. dan memperjudikan hidup dan masa muda aku untuk orang yang belum tentu lagi betul-betul perlukan aku, dan belum tentu boleh menjamin hidup aku. bukan sahaja takutkan orang lain, aku sendiri takut dan xpercaya pada diri aku. entah boleh tak memikul semuanya. payah. aku tak nak menyesal di kemudian hari.

mudah-mudahan. amin. tapi tu lah. kita hanya merancang yang menentukan tu tuhan. tuhan berilah petunjuk.

selfishness

2009-10-23T13:18:00.009+08:00

we live with people surrounds us.
they are all around us.
the one we call enemies
and our loves one

but we don't love one person at one time
we love mama and at the same time we love abah
we love him yet we love the friends

love spreads
i believe we have it all here
everywhere though
it can't be seen nor touch
but the invisible do exist
don't it?

life is not always about one self
it contains more than that
it carries a lot more than just 'me'
everything evolves
everything counts

sometimes if we want it desperately
we might end up letting it go for the sake of better outcome
and there's time when we just go for it
by being as selfish as we could be
praying that everything would be fine for everyone
include us

but most of all
whatever we do or would do
we should always
consider all the possibilities and opportunities
that would come along the way
i can see that now
and i believe i should have it a try
to learn a lesson in facing life

p/s: just a girl and her will to survive

missing

2009-10-20T16:56:00.010+08:00

i dreamt of that guy behind few days back. haha. miss the moment

with THC by azra during 'Gemuk Girl' play. awesome play

with julie and shakila at Hey Let's Lalala booth. the event was splendid

with duckie syafiq at dataran pahlawan

focus at the hair plis

with bryan at charity concert in MMU

with subba at Battle of The Band booth

sangat berangan ok!

lebih berisi dari biasa =)

all time favorite

zaman keding. namun rambut tetap maintain

all of the picture here means a lot to me. [especially my hair. haha. mentang-mentang la sekarang dah pendek]. i'd like to share it here. today, at this very moment i am so missing the hair and all of the people and moment in the photos.

p/s: aku perasan agak banyak 'self-conflict' entry untuk bulan ni. haih. TOLONG! aku sangat kesal. i want my hair back! cepatlah panjang please. ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! miss the hair damn so much. can i have it back like.. now??

lagu minnale-vasigara sangat sedap untuk didengar. aku kerap dengar sekarang entah apasal. adoi

broadband

2009-10-20T13:32:00.004+08:00

kenapa lah benda ni sangat lembab. tension betul aku. tapi bak kata mama, at least dapat gak online rather than nothing kan? dapat gak aku bukak blog, fb dan sebagainya. kepala aku dah makin serabut dah ni. dengan macam-macam nak pikir. dah la kena bertungkus lumus cari kerja.

mama gan abah asik bising. macam-macam depa duk tanya. "dah buat ni,ngah?", "dah mohon tu?dah mohon ni?", "jangan la lambat" itu lah ini lah. [haih.. apa aku ni. selalu lari tajuk la]. tak pe la azwin. apa yang penting sekarang adalah apa yang bakal ditempuhi. memang betul pun kalau depa nak duk bising-bising. they've spent so much for the studies. now, it's my turn to pay back. even they don't expect anything but i shoul've known. my responsibility. aku doa hari-hari supaya dapat kerja. haha. sound pathetic. till then~

p/s: yang paling risau setakat ni sebenarnya result bakal keluar dalam minggu ini. risau tak terhingga. kalau ada sangkut nampaknya maut la!

complaint

2009-10-19T15:47:00.004+08:00

i don't want people to expect more from me.
and i have stop to expect more from them too.
i want things to be perfect
but the real thing is i will never get that
i don't want to hurt anymore
let just take whatever i get
to learn to be thankful
to learn to accept things the way it is
and that will make me a better person
hopefully

the new me!

2009-10-18T17:04:00.007+08:00

this is me. [geli aku tengok sengih aku tu]

aku lagi sekali bersama rambut baru.

i was lost.

now.. i am trying to find my way back.

to be me. the real me.

am i fake before? might be.

entoh la. maleh nak pikir.

jadi. untuk tak melengahkan masa semua orang, aku dengan berbesar hati ingin menyuarakan pendapat tentang rambut baru aku yang ada sesetengah orang mengatakan rambut ala rebonding ni [mana ada sen seyh nak rebonding. rebondang boleh la. haha.] yang sebenarnya, rambut dipotong gara-gara gatal nak cuba gaya rambut pendek walhal aku dah sedia maklum dan dah pun diberi amaran bahawa aku tak sesuai berambut pendek. tapi oleh kerana terlalu ghairah dengan nafsu aku yang membuak tu. aku teruskan niat aku tu. haih. malang. aku memang tak berapa suka sebenarnya. tapi macam dah penat pula menyesal tiap kali gunting rambut jadi kali ini aku memang dah jangkakan yang aku akan kecewa. tambah lagi dengan kecewa-kecewa yang dah sedia ada dalam diri aku ni.. jadi la sang serabut sekejap. nak lepaskan tension abis belajar la kononnya tu. rambut jadi mangsa. haha. entah apa-apa la ko azwin. tak pe. aku akan cuba tahan nafsu lepas ni. dan aku tau aku mampu berjaya bela rambut panjang aku semula. ada orang suka aku rambut panjang, ada pula yang cakap aku lebih sesuai berambut pendek. pandangan masing-masing. yang penting sekarang..

"JANGAN TAMBAH KUSUT AKU SUDAH!"

chiowzz...

masih tak sedar diri. adoi!

p/s: thanks pada yang sudi membaca cerita bangang aku ini. aku selalu merapu bukan? biar lah. janji aku sekarang sedang usaha mencari pekerjaan [apa kena-ngena ko ni sengal]. ok la. sebelum aku membebel entah apa-apa baik aku berhenti. orang pun dah tak teruskan membaca pun ni. selamat tinggal!! jumpa lagi di lain ketika ya. daa~

the semester end/break

2009-10-09T16:34:00.005+08:00

it starts next week. i am at the computer lab trying to pay the fee using cimbclicks for the first fucking time. so pissed off and tensed right now.

well, the exam is over for me since my last paper on Wednesday 2 days back to be exact. hopefully, i'll pass it through. i have to! mesti! harus! wajib! untuk lulus dan grad dengan cepat supaya boleh dapat salary.

so..N.O.W. i will take a rest for several weeks about one or two then after the result came out about 2 weeks time, we'll see then. if everything goes well, then i will start searching for jobs like the others. in a meanwhile biar aku abiskan movie-movie yang dah lama tertunggak kat dalam lappy nicky aku tu. apparently, i have few lists in mind untuk apply company apa. tapi rezeki tuhan je yang tahu. i will try my best to get a job ASAP. insyallah. that's it. i'm off.

p/s: masih tak sedia nak upload gambar rambut baru. selamat!

cerita raya

2009-10-05T11:56:00.004+08:00

abah di pagi raya

the girls. haha. (perasan muda la mama)

camwhore. ni baru betul 'the girls' kan?

lepas penat beraya malam-malam main mercun pula

serba sedikit tentang raya aku tempoh hari.

raya pertama: seperti yang dirancang, akan ke enstek sepang ke rumah mak ngah (kakak abah) untuk beraya bersama nyayi (nenek) dahulu. during raya, one of the best thing was makan-makan. dah kenyang tu, gi beraya rumah saudara tedekat je. ada siapa je kat situ pun because most of our relatives are at johor. kalau beraya di johor, bagi 50 hari pun tak habis (ha.. lebih-lebih pula. saja je nak dramatic sikit). so, we went to 2, 3 houses and then pulang. rudy pun join sekali. balik rumah mak ngah balik di enstek duduk-duduk jap, rehat, makan and all lepas tu balik melaka.. esoknya akan ke Batu Pahat dan aku sangat excited. siap dah packing barang especially mercun.

raya kedua: destinasi yang seronok ni jadi yang kedua sebab kat BP dah tak ada atuk dan nenek. kalau balik pun sebab nak beraya dengan saudara mara yang lain sebab tu lah beraya dengan nyayi belah abah dulu. menetap di rumah mak uda. walaupun dari pukul 11 dah bertolak (patutnya awal pagi lagi tapi aku dan nana terlebih rehat. kiteorang yang lambat) sampai BP dah pukul 3 sebab jamm. kematu punggung.

setelah dua hari di BP, mama dapat panggilan. ingatkan boleh teruskan tidur sana lagi rupanya kena balik. sedara lain nak singgah beraya rumah. start dari raya ke 4 tu sampai la raya ke 7 orang datang beraya sampai naik demam aku. k lah. sampai sini dahulu.

p/s: wish me luck for the coming exam. amin

word of mine

2009-09-29T17:49:00.003+08:00

deep inside my heart..
i feel so useless, helpless, and hopeless.
i'm starting to feel that i am nobody.
i am not important.
i am nothing to anyone.
i've lost the feeling of belongingness.
sometimes i wonder where the hell does it goes?
where are my feeling of someone appreciated me, love me, care for me?
i tend to forget how does the feelings..
i've lost it isn't i?
i've lost those feelings
yes.
i am confused right now
but i am pretty sure that i've lost it some place
and it's really hard for me to find it back

tag from Dheepan

2009-09-09T13:06:00.002+08:00

nama penuh : Azwin Khairuddin
tarikh lahir : 20/12/1987
tempat lahir : pontian, johore
tempat anda dibesarkan : pontian, Johore

siapakah nama kawan rapat anda sewaktu anda kecil?
kecil? aku define sebagai kecil time tadika. intan, nurul, mira, aini, ekin, wawan, nizam. yang lain tak ingat nama. ingat muka je.

apakah permainan anda mase kecil2 yang anda ingat?
banyak tapi yang paling ingat.. kejar-kejar, getah, ice-water, polis entry, galah panjang.

kalau anda bergaduh dengan kawan anda, apakah yang akan anda katakan pada mereka?
tak ingat. tapi selalu main tak kawan, tak kawan and hasut orang lain untuk tak yah kawan diaorang gak. jeling kaw-kaw bila terserempak.

di kawasan mane selalu menjadi tempat anda bermain?
rumah aku, tadika kitaorang, taman buai depan rumah kitaorang.

apakah cita-cita anda semasa kecil?
mula-mula pramugari, pastu lawyer, last-last nak jadi apa yang aku akan jadi je.

apakah kartun atau rancangan tv yang anda gemari dan masih ingat hingga kini?
antara yang terbaik.. dragon ball, power rangers, doremon, pokemon.

makanan ringan apekah yang anda borong di kedai?
twisites! terbaik

nyatakan salah seorang kawan anda mase kecil yang anda teringin sangat nak jumpe sekarang?
semuanya

apakah gelaran anda mase kecik?
azwin

the reminder

2009-08-24T20:56:00.002+08:00

few things for me to remember. i need to update the blog.

1. date to remember. went to KL.window shopping at ikea, the curve..

2. meet granny at nilai before celebrate first day fasting at batu pahat johor.

3. when we're down to nothing god are up to something- credit to mr syafiq duckie.

happy fasting!!

the birthday

2009-08-19T16:22:00.004+08:00

it's mama's birthday today. happy birthday to her. may God bless her always. and panjang umur so that i sempat la nak bagi mercedez. yeah!

she got carrot slice from secret recipe and the cake written "happy birthday mama" thanks to manto for his contribution to this so-called surprise party for beloved mama.

i wish mama will have all that she wants in her life. she deserve it.

such a long day

2009-08-18T11:31:00.003+08:00

Beberapa hari lepas adalah hari yang sangat panjang untuk aku. Pernah disebut sebelum ini yang aku punyai banyak tanggungjawab lain yang terpaksa diselesaikan di hari interview aku. Aku berharap membawa pulang jawapan positif namun tidak semua yang kita inginkan dapat kita kecapi bukan? Aku kecewa? 'ya' tapi aku dah cukup bersedia aku tahu kemampuanku.

hanya 7 orang yang dipanggil interview dan aku cukup yakin di antara mereka cuma aku seorang yang masih belajar. yang lain dah grad da. kan baik kalau aku berkongsi nasib seperti mereka. pihak interviewer menjemput aku untuk di temuduga tapi pada hari temuduga ake terima penolakan kerana masih belum abis belajar. Make sense? I don’t think so. Sampai sekarang aku cuba mencari jawapan mengapa aku di panggil sedangkan dah tertulis di resume yang aku masih punyai beberapa bulan lagi untuk habis belajar. OCTOBER 2009. aku tak salah bila meneliti balik resume yang mereka juga terima itu. Dua nama pensyarah yang ada di reference list aku turut ingin tahu. Sejurus selepas interview aku text salah seorang dari mereka dan terjumpa seorang lagi di taman (kami tinggal di taman yang sama). tapi tak ape lah dan aku masih terus berbisik pada diri ‘kalau dah rezeki tak ke mana’.

Aku sedar bukan semua mimpi akan jadi kenyataan. Kenyataannya kita adalah mimpi itu. Cuma aku yang mampu mengubah keadaannya. Setelah aku berusaha dan berdoa aku yakin untuk serahkan segalanya pada takdir. Bukan semua mimpi boleh di kecapi. Ada sesetengah yang terpaksa aku lepaskan. Terpaksa di biarkan pergi kerana mungkin itu yang terbaik. Tapi tak bermakna aku akan berhenti bermimpi lagi. Setiap hari setiap saat aku selalu impikan segalanya. Segala-galanya. Dengan cara aku sendiri. Aku pasti sesetengah mimpi adalah untuk digapai. Dan aku yakin di antara berjuta mimpi yang aku bayangkan pasti akan aku kecapi yang akan berubah menjadi kehendak dan kemahuan sebelum ia menjadi nyata.

Aku tahu erti kecewa dalam koteks aku sendiri. Perspective aku sendiri. Namun kecewa tak pernah mematahkan semangat aku untuk berjuang juga dengan cara aku sendiri. Mungkin sungguh berbeza dari orang lain tapi cukup untuk aku sedar yang aku perlu kuat dan tabah mengharungi segalanya kalau bukan untuk keluarga atau orang lain tapi untuk diri aku sendiri. Kalau bukan aku yang berjuang untuk diri sendiri siapa lagi?

Reality? There is no reality. This is reality. The reality is you and you are the reality

-Patrick McCabe, ‘Call Me the Breeze’

p/s: aku sepatutnya upload gambar baju yang aku beli untuk interview tapi tiba-tiba takde mood. haih~ abaikan

selamat pengantin baru!

2009-08-18T11:17:00.005+08:00

25^th July 2009.

That’s the date to remember for nafidz and kai. their wedding day. They’re married. We were the witness of their happiness on that very moment. I wonder how she’s feeling deep inside. Marriage is every girls dream and to be exact ‘wedding’ is what most important moment to cherish. I believe that every woman would want a perfect wedding or probably the one that is ALMOST perfect. Whereas, it is still what every man would never understand. The moment the man says the word ‘aku terima nikahnya….’ and until we heard ‘sah’ and doa that’s when the truth reveal. Yang membuktikan betapa si jejaka cinta pada gadis itu. Pada aku saat itu sahaja mampu membuktikan segalanya. Segala kata cinta, madah, puisi dan segalanya yang pernah diungkapkan sebelum ini.

I believe that deep inside, semua gadis pun mahu hari penting itu diingati. Hari yang teramat penting dalam sejarah hidupnya sepatutnya menjadi hari yang paling bahagia untuk setiap gadis. Every woman deserve that I suppose. yeah, sometime things won’t work our way but at least we should try. Try to make it real. If we don’t fight for it, than nobody will do it for us. Trust me. Oh god! I’m telling myself am i? I’m still trying and hoping that I will have the best wedding I ever wanted. Tak semestinya penuh dengan kemewahan atau apa pun tapi cukupla kalau ianya seperti apa yang aku inginkan, apa yang aku selalu bayangkan. I want it to work my own way. but well, reality is way bitter than we think. I don’t dare to set my hopes high, but I’m still hoping and try to take efforts.

Berbalik pada cerita wedding of kai and nafidz. Aku percaya kai bahagia. Persandingannya hampir sempurna. Dia beruntung bukan? Lengkap dengan penyanyi undangan lagi, ‘rabbani’. Aku tumpang gembira. Di hari persandingan mereka aku berjumpa teman yang dah lama tak berjumpa. fyz, ain, dll. Geng PM05. dah macam reunion pun ada.

virus

2009-08-12T16:23:00.002+08:00

pelbagai penyakit dah melanda negara. malah bukan sahaja menyerang negara tapi seluruh pelusuk dunia, segenap masyarakat dah pun tercemar dengan virus ni cuma kuat tak kuat je antibodi menahan wabak tu.

aku dan mama terlibat- terlibat maksud aku sebab kitaorang demam. demam aku biasanya baik dalam 2 hari tapi kali ni dekat nak seminggu. lepas tu bila demam dah kebah, saket kepala masih bersisa.kusut masai sungguh.

sudah la dengan pelbagai masalah yang meraja sejak dua menjak ni, lagi la buatkan kepala aku ni berserabut menunggu pecah. cerita punya cerita, aku dah beberapa kali terpaksa cancel dating. ada je benda yang berlaku. belajar kereta la, meeting amanah ikhtiar la, naik fed-up dah. ditambah lagi, aku mula bergaduh, bertelagah, bertengkar dengan pelbagai jenis orang. ada je masalahnya, kata orang 'lepas satu, satu datang'. benak juga kepala. tapi kan, perlu kah bertelagah?

rusuhan baru-baru ini, sedikit memberi kesan kepada aku sebab benda ni juga aku bergaduh dengan orang lain. bukan la bergaduh tapi berselisih paham- ini term yang lebih sedap untuk aku guna. aku bukan tak setuju dengan ISA dan sebagainya aku cuma tak bersetuju bila orang lain yang tak terlibat pun terkena tempiasnya. bukan mempersoalkan keadilan atau samada pihak ini salah dan pihak itu betul. tidak sama sekali. aku simpati pada mereka yang terpaksa menaggung susah. aku meletakkan diri aku ditempat mereka. cukup la setakat ini.

minggu ni lagi satu hal rasa macam takut nak menjelang minggu ni. exam aku pada isnin, dah pun aku gagahi. selasa ada pengurus nak interview pusat aku untuk amanah ikhtiar. kepala aku belum cukup serabut lagi, tiba pula hari yang paling getir di mana akan berlakunya 'interview session' untuk pertama kalinya dalam kamus hidup aku di mmu khamis ini jam 4 ptg. paling teruk bila dapat tahu aku kena 'bentang'- istilah amanah ikhtiar, pada hari yang sama pukul 2. aku dah semakin tension. cuba untuk bertenang dengan membuat air yassin untuk diri sendiri. tak lupa juga aku ada effort untuk berjumpa madam zaharah dimana atas hasil usaha sama bersama dia jua lah rasanya aku dapat interview ni. dan paling menyeronokkan lagi adalah appointment dengan madam cuma boleh berlaku pada hari khamis jam 10.30 pagi atas sebab-sebab yang tak dapat nak dielakkan. dan tak lupa juga aku telah pun memohon transcript aku isnin lalu dan tarikh collectnya pula pada hari khamis juga.

bayangkan la betapa getir nya hari khamis ini. tuhan je yang tahu dan dapat membantu. yang boleh aku buat sekarang, ya! berserah and take it easy. kalau dah rezeki tak kemana. parents aku yang beriya sangat nak aku kerja ni. eh, tapi aku pun sama juga. semua ini pertama kali buat aku. aku tak berani nak menaruh harapan yang tinggi, cukup sekadar mengambil ia sebagai satu pengalaman berharga dalam hidup aku. yang pertama kan selalunya yang paling sukar dilupakan.

award

2009-07-23T14:16:00.004+08:00

thanks couzie. farah yang cantik. muahx.

Nyatakan 5 Fakta Menarik Tentang Si Pemberi Award Ini

.amazing cousin
.loveable
.softspoken
.know her since small and she's nice. she might change.hehe. who knew
.love to read. like read a lot

Setiap Blogger Mestilah Menyatakan 10 5 Fakta Atau Hobi Diri Sendiri.

.love sundae and bueno-ing. tpi mcm jarang juga even suka.
.i have problems with decision making
.i have problems with certain people. and that's the reason why i'm unpredictable.
.love therapy as shopping, purchasing, buying, buying, buying. tapi duit tak da jadi dah lama tak teraphy. like sangat-sangat lama.
.i have so much terms and condition in live.

Anda Perlu Memilih 10 3 Penerima Award Seterusnya Dan Describe Tentang Mereka.
-azra
-alia
-syafik

haircut

2009-07-23T13:43:00.006+08:00

the first haircut that i don't satisfied with

this is the first hair cut of mine that the tukang gunting tu salah paham or i'm the one who says it wrongly to her. it supposed to be layered but instead of saying 'layer' i said 'nipiskan'. n this is the outcome. some people say that it was ok, like seriously ok. tapi aku je yang tak puas hati sebab it is not like i want. pernah tak korang rasa camni? rasa macam nak sesuatu tapi dapat lain even if the thing is more better tapi korang rasa tak puas sebab tak dapat apa yang ko nak. well, that's what i felt.

selang beberapa hari aku dengan ketakharuan, ke-tak-senang-duduk-an.. aku ke kedai gunting rambut yang biasa aku pergi. mama cakap kedai ni je selalu betulkan bila rambut aku disalahgunting. aduh bahasa entah apa-apa aku ni. well, aku puas hati walaupun rambut dah makin pendek tapi aku dapat layerkan rambut aku. gambar dibawah adalah hasilnya. baru selera nak bergambar kalau tak, memang satu je gambar yang ada.

third day

second day

first day

p/s: abaikan je gambar yang terbalik susunannya ni. hehe

the type of dream

2009-07-23T10:07:00.003+08:00

Hello. In this entry i would love to discuss on ‘dream’. I believe that most of us have had it right? Well, let’s just start with the nightmare. My younger sister was away (i mean, she’s not staying with us at home since she’s apparently somewhere else studying) and last night mama called her. While mama was so anxious bercerita pasal rumah along (big brother) masuk pencuri awal tengahari tadi, the sister was shocked cause she dreamt bout it before. Dia mimpi ade orang tak dikenali masuk bilik dia and when she asked, the person nearly stabbed her. Gila seram kan?

It happens lebih kurang sama macam apa yang along lalui but this is not a dream, ni reality. Dia Nampak motor parking kat rumah dia, and when she got inside the house somebody was there. 2 person tengah geledah bilik orang and when along asked them what are they searching for, they just said that they were looking for Man (somebody’s name and i’m not sure whether along kenal or not that man). Semua bilik dah diceroboh, menurut along mereka sempat amik baju dari closet one of his friends. Bilik along dah kena masuk gak luckily his pc wasn’t stolen kalau tak menangis la. No one at home sebab Terengganu kan cuti, along pun cuti tapi dia still went to his office sekejap. I’m not quite sure whether it’s fortunate or not for being at that situation. Mana lah tau time along tegur pencuri tu diaorang ada senjata just like what my sister dreamt. Ya Allah. Tak terbayangkan.

Well, people. We need to be extra carefull now aite? Things are getting so.. i don’t know. People are not afraid of rules anymore i guess. They don’t behave, they have no manners. I don’t understand. Adakah aku pun seperti mereka? Tepuk dada Tanya selera.

tag from azra

2009-07-22T14:47:00.007+08:00

1. How old are you?
# 17th. period!

2. Are you single?
# i havent been married yet. probably yes. but i'm already taken

3. At what age do you think you'll get married?
# another 2, 3 years. just forget the age will ya?

4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with now?
# insyallah.

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
# hmm... ahh.. let me think bout it first

6. Who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
# siti rahmah abdul rahim.

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
# traditional please.

8. Where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
# i always wanted to go paris. but anywhere will do as long as we're together

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
# 1k kot. biase orang wat camtu kan?

10. Will that include your exes?
# ya. why not?

11. How many layers of cake do you want?
# dont think that far yet

12. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
# morning.

13. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
# padi-dont remember the title. yang lain semua lagu-lagu keroncong, lagu-lahgu hetty koes endang especially begawan solo, dan lagu-lagu jawa yang lain.

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon&fork?knife?
# no comment

15. Champagne or red wine?
# dua-dua pun tak

16. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
# days after the wedding

17. Money or household items?
# ya. both!

18. How many kids would you like to have?
# 1 and 3 pairs of twin please

19. Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
# sure.

19.1. Baju kahwin kaler?
# i love it off-white

19.2. Kad kahwin?
# silver,white,gold, black

19.3 Wedding gift?
# berkat dan doa. amin

19.4 Kameraman?
# tak kesah je sesape

20. Whose wedding plan would you like to know next.
# azra!

letter to the blog

2009-07-22T14:47:00.005+08:00

well, i am now at campus computer lab. i've brought the the pedrive with me sebab dalam tu ade benda yang aku dah type utk diceritekan di blog. unfortunately, computer kat lab ni won't detect the pendrive. bloody pwftttt! ok. fine. i'm off now to class.resume later. chiow~

gila menjelma

2009-07-15T16:36:00.001+08:00

NAK!!!!!

aku nak sangat-sangat!!!!

nak gunting rambut.

tension

2009-07-15T16:30:00.004+08:00

Kali ini perbincangan akan berkisar tentang ketidak puasan hati aku sebagai seorang customer. Aku memang sediakala punyai masalah untuk berkomunikasi dengan sempurna bila tukang gunting rambut Tanya nak gunting macam mana baik tukang gunting berbangsa melayu mahupun cina. Entah la mungkin betul apa yang adik aku beritahu “alah, ko tu tiap kali gunting rambut je mesti macam ni”. Ye ke? Agaknya la kot sebab memang ade betulnya juga tu aku selalu complaint selepas menjalani hair cutting session. Tapi kat melaka ni sebenarnya ada la satu kedai ni yang sangat sangat jarang mengecewakan aku. Lagipula dia tak banyak iklan nak mempromosikan itu ini berbanding kedai lain. Adoi. Naik bernanah telinga aku ni dengar.

Aku tak puas hati selalunya sebab mereka tak dapat memenuhi permintaan aku. Lain yang aku minta lain yang dibuat. Tak pula aku salahkan mereka seratus peratus mungkin aku juga salah cakap membuatkan mereka tak paham. Pernah dulu zaman kecik-kecik (saja nak dramatic. Yang sebenarnya mase zaman aku sekolah lagi ni), kat johor lagi time ni aku mengamuk kat kedai tu. Menghempas-hempas, nangis tutup pintu dia kuat-kuat. Semua tercengang. Puncanya, aku nak dia layerkan rambut aku yang dah bertahun aku bela hamapir mencecah pinggang tu. Dek kerana agak lebat nak la aku nipiskan entah apa yang dia tak paham dia gunting lebih dari separuh sampai melepasi bahu je. Mahu tak hangin aku. Buruk pula tu. Tension. Terus tak datang lagi kedai tu.

Kali ini berbeza, aku tak mengamuk pun. Cuma sangat kecewa sebab aku sebenarnya nak dia layerkan tapi dia niiskan saja. Rambut aku jadi sikit. Pada orang lain ok je tapi aku sangat-sangat tak suka. Kenapa eh? Kenapa susah nak paham hati orang lain?

complaint on changes

2009-07-08T16:12:00.003+08:00

now that the country is working towards its ninth malaysia plan, one of it is to be the knowledge based country or what so ever. well, higher institutions are also a lot in the country. kenapa aku skema ni. straight to the point la, as refer to my previous entry my sister is somewhere else to continue the studies. semua orang berlumba-lumba nak ada degree dan yang sewaktu dengannya (ye ke?).

life, world, people.. everything is changing. as what i've learn today at small business class, innovation is important though it refers to the products and services but i still feel it can be applied in our daily life- the surroundings.

earlier this day, someone step on my slippers (dan nyaris jatuh tersungkur. haha) and not even bother to say sorry. i knew we were in a hurry but is it really hard to be nice to others. then, after the class just now this one girl hit my ears with her umbrella, she was busy talking to one guy across the road- STUPID! she won't bother also. maybe it was just me who take things so hard and maybe i ever did that kinda things previously and now it turn to me back. like people say-karma, what goes aroud comes around. it hurts but even hurt when people don't care to apologies.

another changes

2009-07-01T15:58:00.005+08:00

it's already july and the third week of the trimester. OMG! am i still not moving or i don't even dare to realize that i did? the time is tick tacking, man. i was just a little girl before and did i even grow yet? (no i'm not. i'm small.. hehe). have i done with the school yet? work? that's too far, babe (well, actually i'm in the middle. going to finished with the degree in less than 3 months time and probably will work at some place someday). i'm still not ready. unprepared. how am i supposed to work? to do things my own? did i ever did that? oh, i'm not sure. perhaps i did but i just simply don't wanna admit it. ;p

well, what shall i do? just try to be as flexible as i will? pray a lot to find a suitable jobs for me? oh, before that i must pray a lot to end the study life as soon as possible? i don't know what i want. will time wait till i find the answer? NO.

but i have too much dreams to achieve, to accomplish. for that matter of fact, i know i have to find a job. (or jobs have to find me, either way..hehe) i need to get paid and achieve the dreams. amin. let's just see.

p/s: the picture below describe me at this current moment. yeah yeah nana balik this week.

penghantaran adik

2009-06-28T15:36:00.008+08:00

sisterhood

pau kari dalam perjalanan ke pahang

big apple pun ada. untuk orang-orang dalam kereta dan along yang dalam perjalanan dari kerteh ke muadzam. he loves it, so mama bought it for him.

in front of uniten, muadzam.

he came all the way from kemaman to kuantan.dapat jumpa kejap je

i love the room no.

nana isi borang. procedure of registration. yang baju merah tu abah

sementara menunggu tengok movie dulu. orang sangat ramai ok

another changes in life. i'm alone with the parents now. along dah kerja kerteh, and now the younger sister pula study ke muadzam pahang. but this is her dream since she was at secondary school itself. kitaorang adik beradik selalu bergurau, "along study utp, angah mmu, mesti adik uniten nanti". and it finally came true. now it already happen and she is not here anymore.

kitaorang terpaksa tidur kuantan sebab kat muadzam semua hotel dah full.kat kuantan pun tu nasib-nasib je dapat sebab orang cancel reservation. kitaorang pergi dengan cik ani kawan mama sebab anak lelaki dia pun dapat masuk gak. nana, the sister ada kawan gak. member baik dia sue pun masuk uniten. tapi depa tak sebilik sebab sue daftar dulu that day. well, ada hikmah kan disebalik apa yang berlaku.

sedih je dia pergi. i feel it now u know. no matter what, things have to change and i'm certain that this is really for good. hope she can make it. well, all the best in our life. besides, i have to face this since i always pray to god to give us (family) the happiness in this life and akhirat. amin. and i'm sure all of this will come true someday.