what is this called?

this is not me.
i am not used to this situation
this environment
making me sick
worse! nightmare!

i need to recover
need to turn back time
to be back
as who i am

this is not my place
it is not what i want
what i desire
and i want to leave

but there is something
something that holds me back
pull me! and tell me
not to leave

so here i am
facing the facts! truth
the reality of life
which i choose to lived for

*sigh*