the bosan

sangat-sangat tertekan. kenapa la aku ni? sekarang rasa macam kosong dan sangat bosan. aku langsung tak ada mood. tensionnya! tak tau apa puncanya. aku sedar semua ni time pergi interview last thursday. naik lrt gan mama abah. tengok diaorang buat aku rasa sangat sedih. kesian kat diaorang. bila lah aku ni nak diterima bekerja. betul ke kata interviewer tu aku ni tak ready lagi? i have my own opinion to that.

she said that there are diffirences between 'need a job' and 'ready for a job'. i don't really get what she's trying to do. whether she just simply said that or she wanted to provoked or something else. i really have no clue at all. what i know that, people need to be ready for a job and need a job. both. sebab kalau dia ready sahaja pun tapi doesn't really need to have a job so it's pointless. i need a job, yes. and that makes me ready for a job because i know what my needs are. compare to others i have the commitment and dedication towards a job that been offered to me. aku akan lebih ikhlas buat kerja sebab aku tau.. i need a job desperately. and that, that would make me ready to work. i am ready. ready to learn and gain experience as much as i can absorb. i believe i can make it happen.

i try to smile and remain calm during the interview. but i knew deep down that i didn't do quite well. i have tried my really best. try not to be so timid but to be confident and loud (oh. i am that loud. suara aku je rasanya lebih kuat dari suara interviewer tu. haih. they both are really nice people). aku memang tak confident dapat.

well that's not about it. yang penting aku pelajari sesuatu. if i were given another chance. i would try to do better. tapi tu lah. dah terlambat pun. i wanted to tell them so many things. i felt like i just waste my 40mins interview. i should stress that if i'm not willing to learnt, to gain experience, to be part of the organization, to be a better employee, to have positive mind of the position, etc etc.. i wouldn't came for the interview at the first place. and plus. i was the only candidate who came on that day. the other 3 candidates didn't even showed up.

oh God. let us just pray. i've done my part just like abah said. others can't really help me. i have to help myself. whatever the interviewer had said, just swallow it and learn a lesson. i did. everyone had tried to help me i know. cik cah, cik zee, my parents and friends. giving me advice and support me. i thank them a lot. i told to abah once. everyone might try to tell me the dos and don'ts during the interview. but i said, it is never easy as what you and the others have said to me you know. i did try to make it happen. i tried my best. then abah said.. 'you just be sincere and be yourself there. they just wanted to get to know you more. try not to be nervous'. it works for my second interview. i felt less nervous during this interview. i try to be comfortable and i am. but i know it wasn't good enough. i still can't give the best answer to them. aku tak dapat nak betul-betul luahkan apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan. jadi aku redha. biar tuhan yang menentukan.

the best is. let just try it again for another interview. i have to improve rite? aku belum lagi give up. interview hari tu jawapannya pun belum tahu lagi. i won't jump into conclusion. i still would want to know what is the result. this thursday adalah penentuannya. so whatever it is. i will try to accept it. rejection or acceptation. hehe

p/s: tak payah la baca. membosankan betul tengok entry ni. kosong tanpa gambar. hanya tulisan. dengan tak berwarna. sangat tak creative.