a sigh

it's been awhile since i last drop something here. i faced a new challenge in life, new environment, new path in life. i've entered to working life. i wonder how abah get thru this. i mean, last time it was his time to seek for income to the family and now onwards, it's me and my brother. i have this mind that always thought of getting things better for my family. i want the parents to be happy. to have what they wanted to have in life. i wanted to take good care of them.

with the help of God, i manage to get a place to work. alhamdulillah. but, if we gain some we'll lose some. yes. i do lost some. i'm not quite sure whether the choice is right or wrong, but when it comes to the parents i know what i did was right. i wanted to be with them all times. i would want nothing else if i have the parents.

i sacrifices. i cried. but, i believe that this is what i have to face. aku redha dengan segala ketentuannya. aku sedar aku cuma manusia biasa. tak dapat lari dari dugaan dan ujian darinya. tapi aku juga sedar, dia akan berikan ganjaran dan hikmah pada setiap hambanya yang bersabar. aku mohon diberikan kekuatan dan ketabahan untuk lalui semua ini. amin.

p/s: orang lain mungkin tak paham, tak tahu apa yang kita rasa/pikir/mahu. walau dengan cuba untuk menerangkan belum tentu akan dapat difahami sepenuhnya. hanya tuhan yang tahu. biarlah segala ditentukan olehnya. aku berserah setelah berusaha.