May 7, 2009
who am i supposed to tell to? where shall i go? where shall i put all the burden? i am feeling damn hopeless, helpless right now. what shall i do? ya Allah. aku mohon petunjukmu. permudahkan la segalanya. i am really down. i have too much things on head. to think, to consider, to solve... oh my god. i really need to end it now. i am not as strong as anyone would be. i am such a tiny little creature that need someone to hold on me. i can't be on my own for all the times. at least, let me share it with somebody else. it's not that i want to burden others. but this is beyond my control. and the worse part is, i can't even tell to anyone even if i wanted to. again! what shall i do? i can't handle this anymore.. even if i tell it. i will just making things even worse don't i? now, if this is the obstacle and test for me. i shall redha and accept it isn't it? insyallah. with your will, i can stand up high again and be a better person afterwards. give me the strenghts almighty, so that i can give the best that i can do. amin.