new hairdo?

i bet most of muslims have been busy with the preparation for aidilfitri. I myself as always have been busy lately with the cookies. well, untuk baju kurung aku dah antar lah sehelai nak buat baju kurung modern dan lagi satu kain ni masih belum decide nak buat ke tak since tukang jahit semua dah surrender.

rasa macam nak ubah gaya rambut. tapi macam tak perlu pula sebab azam untuk tahun depan nak simpan rambut panjang. so, tak boleh la nak potong sekarang. dan yang paling penting, muka aku tak sesuai dengan rambut pendek. tak best!

no new hairdo for this year raya. perhaps there'll be new me for the celebration. hmm.. maybe or maybe not. i don't really do shopping nowadays since i've been unemployed for almost 2 months now. so, i better stay at home.

one little girl

i met this 5 years old girl. she's so adorable. she's chubby and i can't help myself from staring at her from the first time. she's so attractive, friendly, independent, etc. my dad met his friend at alamanda and that little girl happen to be the granddaughter of my father's friend.

the time she open her mouth asking the granddaddy to buy her toys, i start to admire her. her granddaddy said that nobody had taught her to speak in english. she learnt it by herself by only watching cartoon 24/7.

me and mama actually sat on the other table and she with her granddaddy and my father were at the other table. then, she start to wondering around on her own until finally she asked her dad to buy her toys. instead of saying "atuk! i want that" she said "e, i need toys". you should hear how she ask. like a 100% clone of television advertisement.

then after her granddaddy bought her barbie doll, instead of saying "barbie doll" she said "look, i have dolly" and sat next to me and mama as been instructed by her granddaddy. she called her granddaddy "e" because she refuse to call tuk cik and call her granny "mummy".

like really i adore her so much. i played with her with the dolly and she can't stop saying "hey..." like the one we used to hear in the cartoon. like totally with the tone, voice. and she can't stop smiling at passers by and said "dolly needs make up", "dolly needs a hairdo", "dolly need to go shopping". she's very brilliant i must say.

and then finally, yang lebih mencuit hati tu.. she independently walk to the beverages stall since we're actually sitting at the food court i forgot to mention. oh, before that she asked me to hold her dolly by saying "hey.. hold the dolly for me". she then wave her hands to the cashier as she's not that tall to see the 'kakak' behind the counter table. memang dia tak takut orang betul. then i saw she's pointing at something. then, smile and laugh.. and finally her mission accomplished when she went back to sit beside me with a beverage with her. she call it grape lit and i feel stupid to not knowing what was that.

bila nak bayarkan akak tu cakap dia belanja je adik tu. see, she's that adorable sampai orang pun suka ade dekat dengan dia.

rasa macam nak bawak balik pun ada. adorable sangat la. dan sayangnya aku lupa nak amik gambar dia sebab sibuk sangat tengok telatah dan gelagat dia.

syawal

see me cry, see me laugh.

lagi-lagi syawal bakal menjelang. seramnya.

seram sebab nanti time bersalam-salaman,

ada babak nangis-nangis.

nak kena minta maaf pagi raya.

banyak ni dosa.

tapi yang seronoknya sebab dapat berkumpul sekeluarga

:)

selamat menyambut hari raya mengikut cara sendiri!

tidur terganggu

aku cuba tidur dalam keadaan yang agak letih dan lesu. aku penat. tapi setakat ni aku masih gagahi walau adakala aku rasa macam tak ada perasaan. i woke up early this morning to attend something important, though i know i wouldn't pass but still i manage to make it till the end. then straight away to kl for another important 'something' to attend. the journey of only 2 or 3 hours had took us almost 6 hours until got out from the car and arrived home (i mean my aunts home).

dapat singgah alamanda kejap pun tak sempat nak cuci mata. sedihnya. rasa bosan pun ada dah. entah apa yang bakal berlaku esok pun aku tak dapat nak paksa kepala aku untuk berfikir. yang ada sekarang cuma nak cepat habiskan dan lalui semua ni dengan jaya. aku janji akan buat yang terbaik dan sehabis boleh. selebihnya serahkan pada Allah yang maha esa. amin.

ada satu perasaan yang asyik mengganggu aku, sukar untuk aku huraikan dan hujahkan di sini. maybe not now. i wish me luck!

currently listening to see you soon by coldplay

engagement

10th July 2010 - Kuantan.

tarikh keramat buat insan bernama Mohd. Alivf Khairudd

in dan pasangannya. it's his engagement day. a day where he's starting his steps of ending his single life. ehem ehem. my future sister in law, whom i use to call kak shida looks pretty that day.

mesti pelbagai perasaan dan emosi bercampur aduk masa ni. takut, gembira, nervous dll.

aku tak tahu samada perlu ke untuk tunjukkan gambar-gambar ini tapi setalh berpikir hampir masak dan hangus, akhirnya aku letak juga dalam entry kali ini. ini sepatutnya menjadi hal peribadi abang aku. tapi aku terasa nak berkongsi kegembiraan dia. dan paling penting, aku jadi orang penting hari itu sebab aku dan mama buatkan hantaran untuk dia dan aku jadi pengambil gambar bertauliah for his big day.

terima kasih kepada yang lain yang turut sama hadir bagi menjayakan majlis pada hari itu. alhamdulillah segalanya berjalan lancar.

semoga di berkati Allah selalu. amin

ini lah dia antara org paling penting

wishing upon

i've been told that the album leaf is coming to Malaysia. this coming September, 7th. can i go mama, abah? i wish i could. i wish i can be there. to be part of it. just to watch them.

no. i wish too much for i have so much of wishes in life i could not get this one though just like the other several wishes before. nevermind. i'm not here complaining. i'm just explaining and expressing what i feel. the same feelings. we can't always get what we wish to have. trust me.

i'm happy to be here at home. i know i'm a person who love to play it safe. to not fly too high for i hate to fall down. the higher it gets the more hurt it caused and i am afraid of pain that can't be cure and which it might take a longer time to heal it. so i rather be here with all my 'guts'. thank you

Hurray! graduate!

i am too lazy to upload pictures nowadays. simply for no reasons. but i have this one picture above, enough la eh? ;)

well, supposedly this entry is about my convocation day, my big day, and it's MMU 11th Convocation. After all the hardships and efforts i am so proud of myself to receive the degree. on that day 2nd August 2010 i am officially MMU graduates. i never thought i could feel what i felt that day. mix of feelings get into me. at times i'm happy, sad, proud, glad, nervous and etc.

congrats to me, friends and all MMU graduates! we finally make it to the end. unfortunately an end is where we begins.

"what we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning. the end is where we start from."

- T.S. Eliot, 'Little Gidding'

afraid

i'm hoping that all the wish would come true. i desperately hope it will.

insyallah i know with God's will, if it's meant for me then it will be. just a matter of time. i wish that i had a job that suits me. at least a job that i feel like like to do. i know that we can't always have what we wanted to have. well, i can still have a try until i finally gets it right?

life had turn me upside down and unfortunately i'm still standing still. kenapa la tak jatuh je sekarang ni? haha. at least i know how to holding on, how to be strong even it's not as easy as saying it. i've gone through hell. but no one's are allowed to take all that away from me. though it's my hard time, i really am glad to have it with me. at least it makes me become stronger. lesson learn is always the best medicine to cure every unpleasant feelings.

i wish i'll have the strength to stood still onwards. by all means, i try to rise on my own. if it's not me who wanted so much to help myself at the first place, how can anyone else surrounds me got the opportunity to even help me? remember (Azwin) you must try to help yourself before thinking of help from people's surrounds. they can't do anything if it wasn't you who took the effort. you have to push yourself. harder this time. hardest next time.

time. will always cure the pains.

p/s: currently listening to hero by enrique iqlesias. and kosong by dewa. :/

:)

can't wait to write an update of life's rock!

Berbuka puasa

Ramadhan menguji tahap kesabaran kita. Setiap kali ramadhan tiba setiap kali tu la mesti aku teringat apa berlaku tahun lepas lepas. Tiap tahun mesti buka dengan family, tak lupa juga gan kawan kawan, sedara mara. Rindunya. Rindu semua. But life goes on and i'm moving on. Turning a year older each year. At this point when i look back at the good all days, i'm glad to have all those memories safe with me. Smile :)

Ramadhan

Happy fasting to all muslims. Im helping mama with to sell lauk-pauk during this Ramadhan. it was fun. unfortunately on 13th August, 3rd of Ramadhan, there's a heavy rain in Malacca. we're all under the canopy but we still got wet. luckily nobody's hurt and that we manage to sell all the lauk-pauk that day. then on the following night, we heard the news that there's tiny twister at jasin's bazaar. 3 died, which one of them are the customer and 2 of them are the seller. inalillah.

may Allah bless us. i'm off to batu pahat for buka puasa with the cousins. excited!

try sleeping with a broken heart lyric

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even in the bottom of the sea
I can still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were telling me lies

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart
Well you can try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound
Why don’t you hold me, need me, I thought you told me
You’d never leave me

Looking in the sky I can see your face
And i knew right where I’d fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I’ll always be in love with you
Right til the end

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could have told you right from the start
It’s bout fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
Or just hold onto love
And I could find a way to make it
Don’t hold on too tight
I’ll make it without you tonight

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you